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Friday, November 05, 2010

It's about watching and guiding

 Even before we started homeschooling, I always felt that my job as a parent was to watch and guide my children to be who they wanted to be, not who I wanted them to be.  I have always said that I couldn't wait to see what they would be come, and I always hoped that while I wanted to influence who they are as good human beings, that I don't want to influence what they are to become.

There is an interesting blog post with thousands of comments at this point where the mom let her son dress up as Daphne (from Scooby Doo) for Halloween.  She wrote
the blog because there were mothers who were vehemently opposed to her decision and there are those who felt that she had a moral responsibility to influence his costume decision.  The blog name is Nerdy Apple Bottom and the name of the post is My Son I Gay (which is followed by "or he's not.  I don't care.")  I interpret her points in this blog post to say, that her job is to let him express himself creatively on a day when everyone is dressed up in silly costumes at his Christian Daycare school.  It made her angry that other mothers wanted to put caveats on her child's creativity).

Here's how I see it... It's halloween...  For those Christians who participate in it, if you are going to participate in it, then let their children choose their costumes.  I would have been much more disturbed with a choice that was dark and evil seeming than something a bit frilly.  My brother and I grew up swapping outfits for Halloween because we couldn't afford costumes.  He was a girl, and I was a boy for many years.  That didn't make either of us gay...  It was halloween and our goal was to be as convincing as possible and then surprise people with the fact that we weren't what we appeared to be.

In watching and guiding my kids there are thing that I will absolutely discourage.  Choice of costume is not one of them.  What I do want to influence is how they speak to others, how they encourage others, that they always include those who appear to be left out, that they are respectful to each other and their elders.  That they treat others as they would like to be treated.  You know, REAL godly stuff.

In homeschooling my kids to be educated adults, I hope to do the same.  I don't want to control their course of study, or their future careers, but I want to influence how they approach those careers, going after their goals whole-heartedly and being good, kind,  and thoughtful people along the journey.



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