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Monday, December 17, 2012

Somewhere between mad and sad

At the Alamo, 11/1999
Most people who know me in real life would say that I am a "strong person".  I hate that phrase.  Probably because it is not true.  I am more of a 'stiff upper lip' type of person, able to hide my emotions, especially when and I am distraught.  I am not strong at all.  I am sensitive, and repressed.

With that said, I am just so mad right now.  I am mad and I am sad. The connecticut school shootings are killing me.  I am over here ugly-crying, brooding, sobbing, and just overall ticked off.  I have so much to say, and can barely phrase my emotions today.

I managed to squeeze out abbreviated versions of how I was feeling at Examiner.com today, but there is soooo much more in me that I need to get out.

Will mental health professionals in the school prevent future school shootings?
Media unfairly pointing to the fact that Adam Lanza was homeschooled

I looked at an old family photo of my family taken when my son was in Kindergarten, and I am sharing it with you.  I can't imagine the little kids in that photo being taken in violence and not allowed to grow up and be as amazing as they are today.   

This is all beyond tragic. 

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8 comments:

Happy Elf Mom said...

There can be many conditions that go with an autism diagnosis, but being autistic in and of itself is certainly not indicative of "someone who will shoot up a school."

Not that we know that this guy really was autistic. We only have hearsay from the media (and they got even the name of the shooter wrong for several hours!) and his brother, who presumably didn't go to all the physician appointments and such and is hearing this second- or third- hand.

I don't think you can necessarily even say he was mentally ill, either. It's circular reasoning to say anyone who does this is mentally ill. Sick, certainly, but "mentally ill," maybe not, at least medically speaking.

I might sound as though I am splitting hairs with you, but there are entire communities out there feeling maligned now when they read the news and think on the implications... :(

Happy Elf Mom said...

And the homeschooling thing. Yeah. I thought some of the same things, too. I feel as though I SAVED Elf from turning into that. Only think if I allowed the school to lock him in a closet off and on for YEARS and put him with emotionally-disturbed kids, what that would have done to him.

Instead, he is a happy (if disorganized) and friendly seventh-grader.

Ahermitt said...

The implications are certainly far reaching. I hope I haven't written anything that maligns anyone.

I feel like intervention is the key. This kid is not the first person who might have autism and won't be the last. Intervention can help, but then there's the fear that too much "intervention" can be just as dangerous when the person was harmless and painted with a wide brush.

Happy Elf Mom said...

So anyway... we don't know and may never know... but did the school have any part in creating what we saw. Did the chickens come home to roost because they have either treated him badly or allowed through action or inaction for him to be treated badly.

Though as an adult, this young man bears total responsibility for his actions... you know what I mean though.

PS I read on Joanne Jacobs' blog that the actions of the teachers under fire proves unionized teachers are great and haters need to shut up... really.

Happy Elf Mom said...

I don't think you are trying to malign anyone but in mentioning autism and mental illness as a connection to the shooting, by implication, it means that autistics and mentally ill people are dangerous.

And that's really hard to hear when you're dealing with a system that is against you to begin with. Few resources and places for help. And prejudice from the outside world also making asking for what little help there is increasingly difficult.

Only think, if they further restrict firearms or other privileges from "mentally ill" people, would YOU want to get help and be treated like a second-class citizen?

And also. This guy got the weapons from his MOM so all that and any other restrictions wouldn't have mattered in this case...

Ahermitt said...

Ah... thank you. I will go back and make adjustments because what I meant to communicate is that these are the LISTED reasons people are throwing out. No one knows if ANY of these are valid.

Ahermitt said...

Question... when did Autism and Aspergers become mental illness. I thought they were cognitive disorders. Is society really labeling these kids at mentally ill? I guess they may be an easier cross over, but I don't think all autism kids are mentally ill.

Blondee said...

It's beyond disturbing. Frankly, I feel his mother had as much a hand in these killings as he did. She knew he had issues and surrounded him with serious guns. I am a gun owner myself, and you don't need the hardware that she had to protect yourself. Any responsible gun owner also knows you have each weapon locked individually, as well as in a safe. For her to not only teach him to use these weapons, then leave them at his disposal, she did the world wrong.