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Monday, November 10, 2014

Hands off parents!

sketch a day #18   (scribbling on the road trip)
I visited with the kids this weekend.  Sort of. Our son wanted to come home for the weekend, and so went down and picked him up. (These kids will have car(s) by summer.)

Since we were there (they both go to college in the same city two hours from home) we stopped to see our daughter. In case you missed this, she goes to a women's college. I don't know if this is unique to Women's colleges or not, but there is clearly a hand-off vibe where parents are concerned. They love for parents to come out for parent designated events which are few and far apart... and they live it when we come to performances.... some performances, but just because it is weekend, does not mean it is mom and dad's time.  You are a college woman, and it is all college all the time.

We arrived Thursday evening and stopped at the girl's college to bring her some things she asked for. She was busy with Theatre rehearsals, as she is stage manager for this particular show, and so we dutifully waited behind the theatre building for her to come out.  She came out and had enough time for some big hugs and a few rushed words.  She said, "the professor said WHY ARE YOUR PARENTS HERE!?"  She relayed that is a way that meant, "this is not the time for mom and dad".  She told her why we were here and was granted a few minutes to meet with us.

We returned on Sunday and got a couple of hours with her.  We had enough time for some lunch and some shopping (two sweaters and a batman letter-jacket/sweatshirt) and some cleaning supplies, and dropped her off in time for another rehearsal.

When I was in college, I remember having time on the weekends to hang out and to work, and maybe go to some parties.  My girls experience is nothing like this.  When she is not working, she is working... and parents are just a distraction.

If I sound upset, I am not.

Her college is high stress, and they are keeping her very busy.  No time for shenanigans.  She is handling it like a champ.  It is no wonder such a large percentage of their graduates end up in elite graduate programs.

1 comment:

Nita said...

It sounds like your kids are doing wonderfully! Congratulations. I have 2 kids at college also. However, our approach was Community College + AA degree first, then off to 4 year college. This allowed my younger student (my daughter got her AA at 16 yrs old) the ability to get used to being around older students, also to study abroad for a semester before living on campus. Her courseload is challenging but she has the weekends to herself and enjoys that aspect of her schedule.