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Tuesday, September 29, 2015


(little girl making big decisions)
(I am stealing this from my Facebook page).  After writing it, it seemed really relative to my blog.  

Conversations that changed my outlook on life... Part 1.
When I was working a second job at a department store preparing to get married, I worked across the aisle from a woman on the other side of marriage. She had been married many, many years, and before her hubby could retire, he had become sick and she was his care-taker. She also had to work for the first time after having been a stay at home mom. Her kids used to come into the store to say hi. Her son was a doctor, and her Daughter was a business woman, and she... She was bitter with regret that she had wasted her time raising her kids and taking care of her husband because look at where it landed her.   
I think she told me these things because she knew I aspired to stay home and take care of my kids and husband and wanted me to escape her fate. She did not scare me from my course though. I saw kids I would be glad to call my own someday, and strength in her ability to adapt.  
But she did scare me away from the sin of regret. I determined that day that whatever came of my life and my family that I would be strong and happy and regret-less.
Sure I regret being unkind on occasion in a couple of circumstances, but I do not and will not regret sacrificing for my family. In the meanwhile, I have also found that gladly sacrificing for my family does not mean ignoring my own needs.

I think what I am trying to say to myself, and my friends is that we all make different decisions in our lives, and then we have to live with those decisions.  We need to do them happily and without regret and bitterness for ourselves and those close to us, and that there is nothing wrong with sacrificing for ourselves and our loved ones.

Personally, for me, doing such has led to greater happiness and fulfillment and has set me up for what seems like a bright future.  Of course I am determined to make it so.


Karen Loethen said...

I'm not sure I think that regret is sinful.

BUT, I so appreciate what you've written here. Most of us live our lives thoughtfully, making choices that we have to live with, living with the challenges of those choices. That woman may be one of those people who doesn't know HOW TO BE HAPPY...and those people really can help us to life more deliberately!

Thanks for the post. :)

Ahermitt said...

Yes, I used the word sin very loosely... it is my personal sin.

Thank you for your kind words.