Nearing 50 and having moments...

So, I changed my blog title.  It was coming for some time.  My youngest homeschooler graduates from college in May and my oldest just applied for Grad school... and while I am still somewhat involved and give advice to homeschoolers (and am almost done with my book), my most passionate posts as of late have been about me and dealing with this world.  Check out my Anger and loathing series and you will see what I mean.

I am constantly having moments. I am short tempered.  It gets real hot at the most inopportune times and my under-boob skin is dry and sensitive.  I've spent my whole life being a "natural beauty" with the exception of some awkward teen years, and now My bathroom is bursting with potions and bottles.  Lord, Help Me!!

So this is where I am at. Enjoy the ride.

So close to using swear words... Don't tell me how to feel.

I got a text of Facebook messenger on Sunday, when I was on the way to eat with my family.  Here are are some tidbits.

The note started saying that I posted a story where two people defended two Chinese women who were being racially attached on a train... The story said that this we part of the Trump Effect. I believe it is.   Personally, I would rather be approached publicly where I can defend myself publicly than under the "I love you" guise of friendship... we last talked 2 years ago. 

I'm like... uh... no... I'm pretty sure Jesus ruffled some feathers by not falling in line with leadership.  Otherwise they wouldn't have hung him.  I don't have to respect "leaders who ever they be"... I just need to pay my taxes. 

And this is where they lost me.  For real.  I started spitting and cursing and my son threatened to take my phone and delete the Facebook messenger app!  I don't care how you feel about Obama... really, I don't...  It's good that African American's can admit they don't like him if they don't.... It shows that we are not mindless sheep... however.  You used hate against gays and immigrants to make a point.. and our conversation is over.  I.JUST.CANT.  

There was more to the conversation of course... your kids are awesome, you are a great person, I love you, etc, etc.... but that part about "your character is off right now and you are not acting Christian, was an insult.  Defending people who are currently being beat down on is very, very Christian... I don't care who is doing it or why.  I would rather DIE than look the other way.  

Thank you for reading to the end of this rant. 

I'm trying

Welp.  I am still not happy and don't know when I will be again.

Is that depression?

Is that anger?

Is that denial?

Am I having a hissy fit?

Maybe one, maybe some, maybe all.

I don't know about you all, but I can clearly see how things will go wrong. We are not dealing in reality and it seems most people don't have the the willingness or ability to see it.  I don't mean to insult, as I have friends who actually want the reality we live in, but my sensing leaves me in a foreboding mood.

A friend told me that he doesn't understand how warm and engaging I am in person because it contradicts with my frank, stern nature online.  I think I am a teddy bear all the time, or at least I want to be, but now really isn't a good time to be a teddy bear is it... and he had only known me for a year, so he missed out on a lot.

Anyway I am rambling!

Two college graduations are getting sooner and sooner... so for us, at least homeschooling works. I think a lot more of us will have to consider it, just for the safety of our children.  I believe that sincerely.

Love and caring in the midst (It's GA Gives Day)

Y'all know I'm salty, and sad, and just plain petty these days.  That's ok though, my mood has its justifications, and it's purpose. The fire lit in my soul will go to good use.

In the midst of what I feel like is madness have been beautiful moments though. People being extra kind so as to say, "I see you hurting, but I will stand in the gap".

Last night as I was going to a theatre event at the local Taco Mac, I made it to the door before a man, and hesitated as I always do as I tend to stop and judge the next person's distance to decide if I should hold the door open or if it would be weird (cuz I'm awkward like that).  As I determined he was at 'holdable distance' he spoke up.  "allow me", he said.  As I thanked him and reached for the inner door he said, "and again".  (Sniff... sniff.... so sweet) So I allowed him to grab the second door and thanked him again... and my mood was lifted for the rest of the evening.

Did I mention, or did It even matter that he was a white male?  Nope.
Does it matter that we live in the South, and the chances of him voting for the other guy is probably 70%? Nope.

What mattered is that he showed love and kindness and made my day better.  Yay for that.

Meanwhile, can I ask my readers to show love and kindness today.

It is GA Gives day and I need a little help.  Here's what I wrote on my facebook page.

Here's the link: https://www.gagivesday.org/c/…/a/liveartstheatre/p/ahermitt/

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