Denying Our Gifted Children

A recent time magazine story profiled below talks about "failing our geniuses". It is a big concern for me because my son was denied the chance to take testing for gifted kids when he was in school even though the school in our previous state had planned to test him. We knew he was bright, but we also knew he was having social issues (not just for homeschoolers). The problems was with his maturity level. He did not have patience with "Kid things". He preferred the company of adults. It was clear my daughter was different too. As far as the schools were concerned, she needed ritalin in order to concentrate. They never considered that slowing her mind down would stunt her intelligence.

Her problems in school were the reasons we decided to homeschool. Years later, I still haven't had my kids officially tested for giftedness. While my daughters standarized tests in the 95th percentile could qualify her for gifted classes, and my son's advanced computer science abilities tend to astound professional addults, I actually try to keep thier abilities quiet. Even in the homeschool community I feel that people bristle if I indicate that my kids may be very bright... let alone gifted. After reading this story, I have to wonder if I am not failing my own possibly gifted kids.

Do I not test them because I fear I may be wrong and they are not gifted, or do I not test them because I don't want to put pressure on them? I don't know. Sometimes I feel by not finding out for sure, I am doing worse than the schools... instead of not doing anything for our gifted kids, am I actually denying or stunting giftedness? Or am I doing the right thing by just letting them develop where they will. Is homeschooling enough in this case?





btw, check out this site for increasing children's genius

7 comments:

Queen of Carrots said...

Good questions. I came here through the Carnival of Homeschooling. I'm a grownup home schooler who probably would have tested as gifted in the system--I started law school at 16 and did well--and my husband is similar. I really don't see how testing would have made a difference for either of us. It's not like a learning disability where you might get insight in how to restructure lessons to get the ideas across--just give them materials to wherever they are. Testing just would have stroked my ego, which really didn't need it! :-)

Now, there were two areas that I think were more of a challenge because of being home schooled, and we hope to address these with our children. For me, I think I was allowed to major in my interest areas too much and being compelled to take some challenging courses in other areas would have been good for my mind and my character. For DH, he felt he really lacked the connections to prepare for and find the right kind of job, which being funneled through the "smart kids" part of the system makes much simpler.

I think both of those areas can be addressed through homeschooling and don't necessarily require extra testing and labeling, just a little extra awareness. Best wishes to you and your kids!

Ahermitt said...

Thank you for the insightful comment.

My daughter would be content to just read books and participate in plays and my son gives me a hard time because he only wants to concentrate of computer design, but we do feel a need to insist on the core curriculum before they follow their interests.

Crimson Wife said...

As homeschoolers, really the only reason for formal IQ testing is if we want our children to participate in programs such as CTY at Johns Hopkins or EPGY at Stanford that require it. My DH and I decided that this was something we are interested in for our DD, but other families may very well decide those types of programs aren't right for their students.

I have noticed a definite antagonism towards the concept of intellectual giftedness in certain segments of the homeschooling community. One is a particular type of Christians who will say nonsense like "I'd rather my child get into Heaven than Harvard" as if the two destinations were mutually exclusive.

The other is among some "unschoolers" who reject the label as an elitist notion that too narrowly focuses on particular types of talents. There's a certain amount of truth to this argument, but IMO these "unschoolers" toss the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, it is true that not all TAG kids are recognized by IQ tests. However, there *is* a certain small percentage of kids who are so far out of the mainstream that they do indeed have legitimate special needs.

Ahermitt said...

Yes, I do not feel heaven training and Harvard training are mutually exclusive! They can co-exist!

JacciM said...

I appreciated your post. I found the link through the Carnival of Homeschooling.

This topic comes up in my little ol' brain every once in a while. One of those times came fairly recently when I took my 6yo to the pediatric optometrist. As a part of her comprehensive exam, my daughter had to complete a visual perception test. When the doctor came in with the results, she was visibly excited and told me (in a hushed voice) that my daughter had scored at least three years above her age level. Her next question was telling. She asked me if we were planning to homeschool. Surprised, I replied that we were. She smiled, nodded, and said, "Good".

As homeschooling parents, we have complete freedom to educate our bright children with the best of the best. We can be sure to continually challenge them and, at the same time, know when to hold back a bit. We can construct a personalized, "enrichment" education that makes the most of the individual child. I'm not convinced that even the best private school in the country could do that.

The responsibility on our end, as the educators, is immense, though. The parents of especially bright children have a great deal to learn themselves even as they teach their children. The beauty in homeschooling is that we can learn right there alongside them, showing them all the while how thrilling the educational life can be.

jugglingpaynes said...

I understand your concerns. But maybe you should ask yourself a different question. What would you differently if someone told you your children are gifted?

For myself, I already try to give them opportunities to challenge themselves, I nudge them when they need it and relax if they are stressing too much. I know my oldest needs an extra push to try new things, because she tends to seek comfort in the familiar. I know my son would not pick up a book if I didn't work to find literature that reflected his interests (currently dragons and pirates.) Gifted or not, I am here to light the fire and, as jaccim said, to learn right along with them.
How do I know it's working? Conversation. We talk often on various topics. Last night, my daughter complained that it's hard to get to sleep early because our conversations are too stimulating for her!

BTW, thanks for your comment on my blog!

Anonymous said...

I think homeschooling is ideal for bright kids, slow kids, bored kids, jumpy kids, etc. I don't think you need a test to tell you what to do because, by its nature, in homeschooling you tend to procede at your child's level and cater to his/her interests anyway. The only 'test' that might be helpful would be one to determine a child's learning style because that could make a difference in the selection of curriculum. You can enrich your child as much as he/she will tolerate. Any child would benefit from that regardless of an arbitrary test score.--------

12 grade year of homeschooling, Finishing Strong

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