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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Is looking forward to the empty nest so wrong?

I have been raising kids for 18 years.  I have been homeschooling for 10.  It is almost over because my youngest is finishing early with college acceptance letters in hand.  Time for the happy-dance, right?  Wrong.

People, other homeschoolers, and also some family members are trying to get me to reconsider LETTING my child go to college at 17 (summer birthday).  Apparently they don't know her like they think they do.  Just like myself, no one LETS her do anything.  She bulldozes through life, leaving accomplishments and her wake and woe to anyone who tries to stop her.  I certainly know better.  So
no, I cannot make her wait a year or two for college (and wouldn't anyway).  I can only try to influence the college choice, and am doing so by letter her know that I won't be upset if she transfers to another school later.

So anyway, I think I finally found a like-minded attitude about my excitement over having my schedule and time back to myself to do with what I please.  There is a blog site called Gypsynester, created by an empty nester couple who roams the globe.  I was especially encouraged and instructed by their helicoptering articles, and I think I am not doing quite so bad with my College Freshman son.... who needs to get a job... or else.

I found the article Why Do People Like Us Even Have Kids to be closest to my situation.  People don't actually say that to me, but I get strong bad parent vibes whenever I say I am excited about my next station in line.

Take some time with this blog, especially if you have older kids.  Meanwhile, I'll be inventorying my house and belongings for the "big downsize".



Happy Elf Mom said...

Looking forward to your children being adults doesn't make you a bad parent any more than looking forward to their being toilet trained made you a bad mom when they were in diapers!

Arg, some people.

I have to say for a time I didn't UNDERSTAND that mindset, but the people I'm frustrated with are the ones whose kids are two or something and they're already done parenting them. Ok, well you know what I mean...

Ahermitt said...

Yes. I know what you mean. I've seen too many parents disconnect from their kids once they get to middle school. Meanwhile I think that is when I think a close parent-child connection is most needed.

Karen said...

I LOVE your point "No one LETS her do things..."! My child exactly!
Yet the family naysayers like to think that they understand and are so sure of me being a controlling and manipulative mother.
I say, You have no idea!!!!!!

Enjoy your empty nest.

The GypsyNesters said...

Thanks for the kind words, it is always nice to meet another parent ready to take on and celebrate their life after raising kids.