I feel like if we, homeschoolers raise girls with the single-minded purpose of homeschooling their own, and load their homeschool lessons sewing, cooking, cleaning, and maintaining a house, we are treating
them no better than the world treats them. Girls get objectified in the media, in the workplace, and on the street by making their gender more important than their minds. But doesn't holding back education and achievement reinforce that that same gender objectification? Aren't we telling them, "you are girls, you don't need to be smart, you just need to find a guy and have his children"? I don't think that is any worse then getting a 16 year old a nose job to raise her "self esteem".
This is really hard for me. I feel like I am straddling a fence here, because I do have higher standards for my kids, based on my Christian values.
- My kids don't date for the sake of dating.
- My kids don't believe in sex before marriage.
- My kids believe in conservative values.
- My kids were raised going to church, but not necessarily to youth group.
- My kids dress modestly.
Interestingly enough, none of the bullet points above were purposely planned or demanded of them. Yes, we brought them to church. Yes, we purchased clothes, and took them to the mirror when things didn't look quite right. Yes, we have had conversations about conservative issues, but we have never laid down strict rules, and we have never issued ultimatums or punishments. I feel like we raised them gently, and lovingly, and demonstrated good values, and so our kids followed them.
So with all of our Christian Values, there are also things that I won't do because I don't feel they are in the best interest of my children.
- I did not hold back on science or history. We taught from both a Christian and Secular point of view.
- I did not restrict media... not even internet access, with the exception of child safeties.
- I taught both children to cook and clean, not just my daughter.
- I put no expectations on either child to homeschool their own children.
- I make absolutely no academic differentiation between the children based on sex. Any differences in my kids' education is based on their interests and strengths.
If all of this makes me an oddball in the homeschooling world, then so be it, but I have an idea that I am not really that alone. I have noticed that there are a lot more homeschooled boys in college than homeschooled girls, but there are homeschooled girls in college, furthering their education and charting their own courses in life. I feel that is how is should be. I feel like just like with boys, our job is to raise your girls to the best of our abilities, and then trust them to make their own decisions.
ps. I especially feel like girls whose personal goal is to marry and have children should continue their education and follow their own interests. My reasoning: smart, fulfilled girls pick smart, fulfilled boys and vice-cersa.
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