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Saturday, September 21, 2013

The health club mafia can't stop me

I can tell you that the health club is taking up a lot of time that homeschooling used to... yay!

I can also tell you that a certain contingent of health club life is just as annoying if not more so than the worst homeschool parent meeting where they are comparing curriculum and someone has decided to champion Math-U-See as if their life has depended on it... and woe to anyone who likes something else.

So there is a large bunch of women (all of the same nationality) who like to take over the locker room with their saggy naked butts dangling about, sitting on the benches with nothing in between their Lee-la's and the benches that other people have to use.  The good news is that they have commandeered one of three sections of the locker room with vengeance, so at least we know that it might be safe to sit on the other two benches... but frankly, I'd rather stand in a pool of piranhas than put my tooshie anywhere near where they are all sitting nude as the day they were born.

The nakedness isn't the only think that keeps the rest of us from using that portion of the gym locker room.  No.  It is the Kimmy Jin stare that makes us use the other two sections of the dressing area.  They do the same in the whirlpool, and sauna.  If any of them are in there, they try to freeze you out.  (They can keep the whirlpool, but they aren't freezing me out of the sauna.)

Kimmy Jin stare (from Pitch Perfect)

Today, I decided to go to the gym with my husband and use the pool.  Normally, I take an aerobics class, but since there was no class at the time I was going, I decided to take a lane and do all of my favorite and most effective exercises that I have learned in the 6 months I have been going to the gym.  My method is to take up a lane as if I am a swimmer and use hand weights. While doing each exercise, I move up and down the pool, thereby taking up a lane.

Well people from this same group apparently wanted the lane I was in... so they would get in the pool, get in my lane, even though there was always one or two empty lanes at that moment.  They would see my working my way up and down my lane, either doing jumping jacks, high jumps, cross country skiing, or what have you.  My body never stopped moving, and I had hand weights in my hand which were also moving at full speed.  Needless to say, it wasn't safe for anyone but me in my lane... but nooo... They would get in my lane, in my way, and try to give me the Kimmy Jin stare down.

So this is me....  (skip to 1:15)
Image courtesy of http://cheezburger.com/1646376192

I am clearly moving my tooshie, working hard, and kicking butt and someone just gets in my lane and stands there in an aggressive stance as If that means I need to surrender my lane or something...  But it didn't work...  I was all like... THIS IS MY LANE, and if you want to stand there, you are going to get hit either and arm, a leg, or a hand weight.

So now I'm not just exercising my butt off, for a whole hour at a time, but I am also practicing my best stink-eye in an effort took keep these interlopers out of my lane.

Good fun.


Tiffany said...

It's great that you are doing something for yourself. Girl who has time for naked gym mafia. They need to get a life outside of bullying people at the gym. I'm happy you kept working out. I am going to use those moves the next time I'm in the pool. That's a really good workout.

Happy Elf Mom said...

Isn't that funny? I think everything has a clique. I hope you can find a good friend or two; you don't seem like a clique-y person.

Ahermitt said...

I like to hang out with the elderly clique. They are so much more entertaining than everyone else.