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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The lone homeschooler at the party

I really want to delete the last series of blogs I wrote.  Those of the types of things I don't want to deal with. I don't want to think it, and I certainly don't want to write it.  Let's see how long it stays live.  I read a comment yesterday where it was stated that when dealing with touchy subject like this, one person chooses to always opt out, saying "I'm not having THIS conversation".  It seems so wise.

But since I am discussing all of the hard stuff right now, I might as well discuss my the difficult phenomenon of being the lone homeschooler at the party.

I feel like a party game.

I don't know a better way to explain it.  I show up at a party.  There are niceties and introductions, and then the question is asked.... "where do (did) your kids go to school"?  I answer "they are (were)
homeschooled".  And then it follows... some are polite but walk away... I can respect that.   Others are curious and ask a ton of questions.  Whey, when, where, how, results?, etc.  It can go on, and on, and on... and it seems to go on the longest when the majority of the crowd is teachers (they are usually my SILs parties, and she is a teacher).  I feel so conspicuous.  And even though everyone is kind, and truly curious, and even congratulatory, I always feel like I have usurped whatever celebration is going on.

I think from now on, I will show up armed with game changers, - ideas to help re-direct the conversation off of me and my kids.  Or maybe I can give a card with my number and offer to have a private conversation... but I am at the point in my life where I don't want to be defined by the word homeschooler anymore, so if I was uncomfortable before... I can certainly uncomfortable now.

Don't get me wrong.. I am not rejecting homeschooling, and I certainly don't regret doing it, but while I have grown and flourished during our homeschooling years, I haven't ceased to be now that they are over.  I will always be thankful that we could homeschool our kids, and will always encourage others to do the same... I just kinda don't want to be the party game anymore.  It doesn't really serve me, and I hate taking so much attention at gatherings that have nothing to do about homeschooling.


Karen Loethen said...

I know! It's painful how limited some people's abilities can be in social situations! So sorry they couldn't figure out how to treat you as a real person.

It's their limitation, not yours.

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

There is no good way around it, and if they ask first, what can you do?

I see you have internet today!! I've been wondering how things were going in Georgia.

Ahermitt said...

A lot of people lost power, but our area is newly built. ( less than 15 years) I think that's what saved us.