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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Through our own lenses

sketch a day - day 8 -30min
Today I sketched my eyeglasses.  They are sitting on my pencil case. They are cute but uncomfortable and I don't wear them like I should. One lens is thicker than the other, and so in those lightweight wire frames, they don't really sit right.  Since my eyesight out of the other eye is pretty good, I can get away without the glasses at all, but the other eye compensates. I have to hunt down my glasses and put them on when my eye starts twitching or when I get a headache from not wearing them as it causes eyestrain.  I have been warned that if I don't start wearing them all the time my lazy eye will become more and more apparent and even lazier, but I still don't.  I am planning on getting a new pair with a better weight balance...  Don't know how they will do it, but it is what I will ask for.

I chose eyeglasses for my image today because after yesterday's encounter with the cashier I began thinking about how we view others. You know that old saying about there is always three sides to a story?  His, hers, and the truth? I have decided to apply that information to yesterday's circumstance.

If I think about it she may be viewing me through the lens of someone who has to be wise about every cent she spends, and based on her overall look and apparent level of classiness... maybe even newly divorced, this may even be new to her. Maybe she has embraced a level of thriftiness for survival sakes... and she wants to share this with me to help me do better.
an appropriate book suggestion

There's also the possibility of her just viewing me through the lenses of a cashier. Perhaps she sees so many people that look like me day in and day out using government assistance that my deviation from the norm threw her off?

I may be viewing her "helpfulness" through the lens of someone who people OFTEN assume needs a handout, or help of some kind... even though that is not my experience. After so many years of people offering me work as ... a maid, a cashier, a secretary, etc, because "I seem like such a nice person", I have become weary of all the lowly offerings (not to disregard anyone with those jobs) but why not ask me what I am capable of doing, or my education, and offering a commensurate job?  People always assume I have no experience, or no... anything, and offer to help me based on low expectations. So yes, I am defensive.  And then they seem offended when I inform them that I need NONE of those things.

Based on the way she greeted me when I swept through the grocery store this morning, for just a couple of items, the truth might just be that she was trying to be friendly. Based on the "heeeeyyyy Gurrrrlll", that she directed at me, there is something about me that she likes, but has no idea how to approach me correctly.  And for me, perhaps, I need to find a way to correct the unwarranted comments in a gentle and instructional manner so that we can embrace instead of butting heads.

But sometimes... you just want to leave in a huff... foggy lenses and all!

1 comment:

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

I would be forgiving of the "helpfulness" but NOT the "heeyy gurrl."

I'm thinking "top O' the morning to ye, Shamrock!" works from here on out since all white people pretend to be Irish at least once a year. (It's in that codebook you don't have.)

If she protests that she's Dutch or Finnish or anything odd like that, I can't help you with any funny stereotypes. Sorry. Maybe you could yodel in that case and if she calls you out on it, just say something like sorry, all you European-Americans look alike to me. Then ask what was on the latest episode of Duck Dynasty just to be polite.

(I'm only halfway kidding about the Duck Dynasty bit tho'. You might really wanna use that one.)