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Monday, June 19, 2017

On weddings and marriage

It is rare to be invited to the wedding of someone you know casually, like a work chum or someone you have met thought hobbies or such, but this past weekend, I scored such an invite. I went to the wedding of a young lady who I have costumed consistently over the past 2 years in a few stage productions. I am a big fan of hers as she is hilarious. Even more so, I admire how her fiance (now husband) got onto stage at her request recently and take part in a flipped gender comedy. He was out of his element, but easy-going nature and willingness to play along won my heart. And so these two crazy kids got married. They were just a few years older than I was when I got married, but in this day and age they are YOUNG! But that's OK.

There is a certain beauty in attending a wedding where you are not a relative, or where you really don't know anyone else there. I had a small group of other theatre people, but mostly we knew no one. So there's no probing questions from relatives who want to know your personal business. There are no drunk uncles to look out for (and you don't really care). There are no family feuds for you to intervene in... no awkwardness at all.  Just wonderful wedding and no judgement. Normally, I don't like weddings at all, but this one was wonderful.  (It probably had something to do with some top-notch wedding planning because this was so classy, and clean, and orchestrated... I am in awe.)

Weddings, in my opinion are often the barometer for a marriage. If the wife is a Bride-zilla and short tempered on the wedding day(common), then the marriage is doomed to short-tempered existence. If the husband is barely standing due to way too much alcohol, then the marriage is doomed to unpredictability due to poor impulse control. If extended family members are at war, then the couple will be besieged with family pressures that can destroy the marriage. But if both people are easy going, and just darned happy to be at the alter, they will have the good nature and humor to get though everything life throws them.  The latter is what I witnessed this weekend.

The best part about the ceremony, in my opinion is the playful way they wanted to and tried to kiss before the priest gave permission. She had to keep saying, no not yet, I will let you know. Also, the bride had the tendency to jump up and down in joy from time to time.  And I am sure the grooms face is still hurting two days later because his smile muscles were in action the whole afternoon and evening! Yes, this is going to be a joyous marriage.

My heart is happy right now, knowing there is still good in the world.  So from an old married lady, with a bit of experience behind her, my best advice to young married couples is have fun... Yes, of course, do the work... but keep a light heart and you will be happy.

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