Rules of disagreement

A week ago I had the opportunity to sit with a young man and have a meaningful conversation.  I will start by saying that I am glad to not be young in this day and age. The loss of privacy between this generation and mine is astounding. The social media causes one to either be completely antisocial or more visible than they are comfortable with. If I had to deal with that in my early 20's and try to maintain a relationship, I never would have made it.

We talked about how I had a long-distance relationship (with my now husband) throughout college.  He was astounded that we had a phone date once a week where we spoke for an hour. That it all. The bill cost too much for anything more, although we did have an occasional 5 minute quickie conversation, we really only spoke once a week... for 4 years... and saw each other on major holidays.

When we compared this to how the young people's conversations work, with daily and sometimes hourly texting, he asked me to draw a comparison... I could not.  My husband and I don't even communicate like the young people do these days. Keeping track of each others every move and their every mood.  I don't know if our relationship would have survived such a thing.

Finally, he asked me a question that I feel like I could answer... how did we handle arguments and

Tis the season to Give

I'm not going to go into it.

Matthew 6:4-6 says "Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you."

So only a handful people will know the details... the person I had to get permission from to spend above the pre-set amt, the 2 women I tell my secrets to, and my children who notice everything I do... but the short and short of it is I was moody.  I knew someone had a need, and I took care of it.

HELLO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

For today anyway.  So that's the answer... think less about me and my moods and my ... depression... and think more about others and the mood will lift.  Good news. Good news.

So if you are one of those people for whom this holiday season brings you more down than up, find someone who is in need and help them... they are not too hard to find.  Just ask a couple of friends, or call a church or something. I know I didn't have to look far.


ps... I hope no one thinks I am bragging... I just really, really want to give advice to help those who get extra moody this time of year.

Til next time.

I seem to have lost my Christmas Spirit

Well.. actually, I've never been real big on Christmas.  I decided it was anticlimactic around the age of 11. My older brother used to wake everyone up at 3am to open gifts when we'd rather be sleeping and then we would go back to bed.  I never felt the warm fuzzies about that exercise...  I preferred the Christmas Mass at the church instead.  That's just me.

So I have been the producer of the Christmas show at the community theatre this year, and while it was fun and Christmassy, it occupied my thoughts in a way that was not very 'holiday'.. more business instead.  So that it over now, and I like 1 week before Christmas... OK... wow!

We have gifts that I need to wrap (put in store bought pre-decorated boxes) and I guess maybe we should start making cookies or something.

I wonder if anyone is having a party.  That might put me in the mood... or at least A mood.

Trying to appreciate here and now

I edited an essay for a college bound student the other day.  I found the essay intriguing because it was quite and artistic way of saying, I tend to procrastinate, but I am working on it. If I were the admissions officer, I would accept them.

The essay started out describing time as the enemy. It pondered through the relativism of time and some philosophy regarding time and how we move through it. Interestingly enough, I have been feeling similar feelings... except more like that time has become a tractor trailer with failing brakes.
My dad was a truck driver, so I am well aware of the struggle the truck has climbing the hill. It seems, slow, arduous, and painful, but it keeps chugging with that "I think I can attitude". As it climbs that hill (of life) it picks up experiences, and skills, and learns little tricks and tips to make the journey successful....

And then it reaches the top.  It puts its proverbial hands on its hips and surveys the surroundings.  It would love to stay at the top of that hill forever, but that's not how it works...  what goes up must come down. The trip down is nothing like the trip up... the weight of the load and just simple gravity causes it to barrell down the hill at breakneck speed that seems nothing like the journey up. It's all one can do to enjoy the ride.

I am pretty certain that it won't be as long as it has been.... and I am no longer uttering the phrase... "I can't wait til (I'm grown, or I'm through this stage, or till I achieve that)"... no, that's not a luxury I have any more. I need to savor each moment... and fortunately, the analogy of the truck is not necessarily true... thank goodness.  The hill down has many plateaus and rest stops and I plan to enjoy all of them.

I wish I had listened to my mother when I was young. She once said, "sure, you want to be grown, but once you reach 21 years old, the rest becomes a blur".  She was right.

So here I am trying to hold on to each moment and finding positive enjoyment in each moment that seems to fly by too quickly... trying to appreciate the here and now.