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Thursday, June 22, 2017

They're not sticking me and they're not cutting me.

I went to the orthopedist today... that's the doctor who takes care of spine and joints. My primary care doctor sent me there a couple months ago. Last time I went the doctor said the problem was not weight related, which is strange because they all say it is weight related. He said that physical therapy would help the problem which he felt was caused in my back... but affecting my leg.

I went back to day for follow up and met with a new doctor. The previous doctor was no longer there. I actually did not see the doctor, but the physicians assistant.  He didn't touch me. He just said that it was time for an MRI and possible injection and then maybe surgery.  I was like... excuse me?  You're not sticking me and you're not cutting me. My leg numbness is getting better and I just want you to address the fact that physical therapy is focusing on a quadrant of my back, and now causing the rest of that side pain... the whole right side to the neck needs addressing.

He was quite rude. When I repeated myself he said "I heard you the first time", but then he was repeating himself about "this is what we do... surgery"... well, dammit... I'm gonna finish up another month of physical therapy, and lost weight because last time I lost weight, this problem went away.

They tell us not to self diagnose, but when a therapy is working and they want to jump ahead, then why should we trust them?

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

I am 49 years old dammit!

It is the morn of my 49th birthday, and already I have been besieged with people purposely wishing me a happy 39th or the umpteeth anniversary of my 29th birthday.  What kind of shenanigans are these?

I am 49 and have earned every single day of my existence. I don't like it when people roll back the clock on me (though I am trying to have good humour about it).  I am sure I have insulted at least one person this morning... but...

My sisters (step sisters) passed away at 28, 30, and 35 due to a genetic illness I don't have.  My brother made it to about 44. His daughter made it to 21. I have 4 brothers left, who survived the genetic lottery. I am aware of my mortality and every year is a triumph.  I am also quickly approaching the age my mother passed away. She was 55. I am not worried though because she had cancer when she was younger than I am now, so there's another victory!

Excuse my morbid nature, but it just irks me when people wish me a happy birthday, by insisting on rolling back the clock out of humour our naivety. It is just not necessary with me.

Imma go ahead and enjoy this day, and hopefully not roll any heads. One more year to go to 50!!!! wooo hoo!.  We are gonna celebrate!

Monday, June 19, 2017

On weddings and marriage

It is rare to be invited to the wedding of someone you know casually, like a work chum or someone you have met thought hobbies or such, but this past weekend, I scored such an invite. I went to the wedding of a young lady who I have costumed consistently over the past 2 years in a few stage productions. I am a big fan of hers as she is hilarious. Even more so, I admire how her fiance (now husband) got onto stage at her request recently and take part in a flipped gender comedy. He was out of his element, but easy-going nature and willingness to play along won my heart. And so these two crazy kids got married. They were just a few years older than I was when I got married, but in this day and age they are YOUNG! But that's OK.

There is a certain beauty in attending a wedding where you are not a relative, or where you really don't know anyone else there. I had a small group of other theatre people, but mostly we knew no one. So there's no probing questions from relatives who want to know your personal business. There are no drunk uncles to look out for (and you don't really care). There are no family feuds for you to intervene in... no awkwardness at all.  Just wonderful wedding and no judgement. Normally, I don't like weddings at all, but this one was wonderful.  (It probably had something to do with some top-notch wedding planning because this was so classy, and clean, and orchestrated... I am in awe.)

Weddings, in my opinion are often the barometer for a marriage. If the wife is a Bride-zilla and short tempered on the wedding day(common), then the marriage is doomed to short-tempered existence. If the husband is barely standing due to way too much alcohol, then the marriage is doomed to unpredictability due to poor impulse control. If extended family members are at war, then the couple will be besieged with family pressures that can destroy the marriage. But if both people are easy going, and just darned happy to be at the alter, they will have the good nature and humor to get though everything life throws them.  The latter is what I witnessed this weekend.

The best part about the ceremony, in my opinion is the playful way they wanted to and tried to kiss before the priest gave permission. She had to keep saying, no not yet, I will let you know. Also, the bride had the tendency to jump up and down in joy from time to time.  And I am sure the grooms face is still hurting two days later because his smile muscles were in action the whole afternoon and evening! Yes, this is going to be a joyous marriage.

My heart is happy right now, knowing there is still good in the world.  So from an old married lady, with a bit of experience behind her, my best advice to young married couples is have fun... Yes, of course, do the work... but keep a light heart and you will be happy.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Doing too much, accomplishing too little

I have been driving from one vintage booth to another as I close down the one where the store has lost it's lease due to a new owner in the plaza and a supermarket coming it. (It took alot of pulling teeth to get the full story.)

I have been painting alot, and just trying to manage to get items ready for sale.

I have been crafting every single evening, also to have booth items, and to get rid of an over abundance of craft supplies... of course each supply calls for another supply to finish the job.

I have been organizing my home to make all this stuff more accessible.

I have been putting items for sale on Ebay...

I'm tired, and I haven't seen pay off yet, so that is exhausting.

And my husband is seriously giving me the side eye because he sees me doing all this work, but progress is not quite as evident.

Ugh.  It's so difficult and confusing to embrace your talents.