Rules of disagreement

A week ago I had the opportunity to sit with a young man and have a meaningful conversation.  I will start by saying that I am glad to not be young in this day and age. The loss of privacy between this generation and mine is astounding. The social media causes one to either be completely antisocial or more visible than they are comfortable with. If I had to deal with that in my early 20's and try to maintain a relationship, I never would have made it.

We talked about how I had a long-distance relationship (with my now husband) throughout college.  He was astounded that we had a phone date once a week where we spoke for an hour. That it all. The bill cost too much for anything more, although we did have an occasional 5 minute quickie conversation, we really only spoke once a week... for 4 years... and saw each other on major holidays.

When we compared this to how the young people's conversations work, with daily and sometimes hourly texting, he asked me to draw a comparison... I could not.  My husband and I don't even communicate like the young people do these days. Keeping track of each others every move and their every mood.  I don't know if our relationship would have survived such a thing.

Finally, he asked me a question that I feel like I could answer... how did we handle arguments and

First her diploma, then her drivers license

She got her driver's license this morning.   Seems like the third time was the charm.  Her nerves got the best of her on the date of her original road-test, which is when this photo was from.  Then she went back for a re-test (as a walk-in) because she didn't want to wait a month to schedule a new one, but they sent us away... we didn't get there early enough.  We got there at 6:34.  AM.  So today, we get there at 6:27, and she made the cut.  It was a long wait, but we found a nervous young lady to entertain and it helped with everyone's nerves.  They both passed with over 90 points!

So why is my child who has already graduated just getting her drivers license?   I have 3 reasons....
1.  She graduated young.  You probably already know that info if you read my blog.

2.  We the parents decide when they get to drive, not the government.  Sure she was legally able to when she first turned 16, almost a full year ago, but while the state says you have to practice for a year, mom and dad required more time.  While she didn't like the fact that she was the only Sr. whose Mommy escorted her her to homeschool classes this past year, that fact didn't phase me one bit, not even when she pointed out that the Jrs. were also arriving solo.  I neither made judgment on those parents who let their kids drive young,  nor did I feel the need to put  fire under my butt to help her get her license.  I knew that I'd know when the right time had come.  ...And it came.

3.  Permission to drive must be earned in my home.  It is not a right.  I needed to see dedication, order, and a mature attitude before I would share my car with a child.  Not to mention buying them their own car.  Who knows when that is going to happen?  But I can tell you when I do buy her or my son a car, they will surely deserve it.... or they will buy their own.

(By the way, her older brother doesn't even have his license yet, but that is more of his decision than ours. )


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Pants on the Ground and All That Jazz

Mrs. C got me started. She wrote a post about saggy pants which don't bother her much, and that's great.  But they irk the heck out of me.

I had to weigh in on the matter.  Here is what I wrote on her blog:
I can't handle seeing saggy pants. They were in "style" when I was in college... two decades ago. I didn't find them sexy then, and they are certainly not cute now.

My biggest problem is that the trend started in prisons because prisoners could not have belts should they decide to off themselves or someone else. So these fools (sorry, don't have a better word for it) get out of prison and keep wearing their pants beltless, and their shoes without strings... and even stupider kids say "hey" I'm gonna dress like that too.

Now the whole country is walking around with their pants down. 


But I was only getting started.

Black, white, or indifferent... I find saggy pants to be disrespectful. (There are some styles that sag in the butt but still come up to the waist, and that is OK with me)  Guys showing their underwear disrespect themselves, their parents, and women.  Maybe I am being harsh, but follow me here.

First let's take the fact that saggy pants originated in prison.  Even for ex-cons.... I must ask, at which point do you remove yourself from the prisoner.  If you have served your time, why wear your clothes as if you are still there?  And if you are still there on the outside, aren't you still there mentally?  It's no wonder so many people end up back in prison.

Now let's look at the physical aspect of wearing your pants beneath your butt.  If your pants are beneath your butt in the back... where are they in the front.  Visual picture anyone?  If your butt is exposed so is your frontal region.

My kids and I saw a young man in front of Target a few years ago.  A typical guy with saggy pants realized his shirt was inside out and backwards and took it off in front of the store to correct the mistake.  When he took off his shirt, it was clear that his pants were belted on his upper thighs.  Beneath that was a thin pair of boxer shorts.  There was absolutely no mystery.  I was feeling mischievous and said to him, "hey, your pants are down", as if he didn't know.  He was not amused... and neither was I.

I have to add that as a black mother with black children, I don't believe that saggy pants is a black thing... it is a class thing.  Not socioeconomic class, but rather a lack of style and etiquette.  However, many people look at young black men who it is assumed started the fad and think, "typical".  I don't ever want anyone to decide my son is typical with one glance.

Furthermore as a mother of a black daughter... I defy anyone to come to my door and try to date her with his pants belted below his butt and nether regions... it shows a lack of respect for himself, and the girl he is with, if  he can't tuck his package away in public.

But then that's just me... maybe I'm crazy.

Ps... here's a video for you to enjoy.




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Are you teaching entrepeneurship?

I have mentioned before that entrepeneurship should be part of any homeschooling program. Like I tell my kids, a job is great, but the only purpose of a job in these days and times is as a learning experience on your way to something greater. No one is ever going to give you anything in the workforce, and you should not expect them to. It is much better to make your own way. For this reason, entrepeneurship is a great way to give a homeschooler a headstart in the real world.

Young entrpeneurship from lemonaide stands to lawm mowing to babysitting in the neighborhood should be encouraged and supported. As kids outgrow these simple, lower paying endeavors and look for more lucrative options, parents should be looking for ways to continue to feed thier entrepeneural spirit and help them take their endeavors to the next level.

The Kaufmann Foundation is a great website to explore with your children and students. At this website, you will find All Terrain Brain which is a multimedia project designed to get 8-12 year olds to tap into their entrepenurial sprirts. There is also Entrepneurship Week USA which works to help people understand the importance of being entrepenerial. Hot Shot Business is also an online simulation game that allows boys and girls to run a mock business online.

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