On Modesty and Shaming

I am annoyed by reports of a Utah School doctoring yearbook photos to show less skin.

My reasons:

1. The school district admittedly applied the rule unevenly.
2. The original pictures were fine, for the most part.
3. I dare say not one boy's photo was doctored.
4. Cleavage is one thing, but shoulders?  That is taking it too far.

I realize my stance my be unpopular, but it often is, and I am ok with that. But I feel like we cross the line in asking our girls to be modest... and push the barriers into shaming girls for just being girls.  While I practiced modesty with my daughter from her pre-teen years through now, adulthood (18th birthday coming up), I don't believe in telling girls that some guy seeing a glimpse of an ankle or a (gasp) arm, is going to cause some guy to stumble in his faith. Meanwhile guys get to run around completely shirtless, and girls are expected to have no reaction?  I am sick of the double standard. 

In encouraging (not demanding) my daughter to be modest, we layered whenever an outfit revealed too much.  "Go add your lacy underskirt to outfit". "That skirt or shorts would be OK with leggings". "That top needs a cami".  "For goodness sakes, where is your belt?".  These were common sentences

A tribute to Maya Angelou

When she spoke I listened
As if she were speaking directly to me.
She chose her words carefully
And set and example for all to see.
She told us why the caged bird sings
She lost her voice through childhood trauma
But found it again through poetry
Then she rose above poverty with dance and drama
She was as comfortable with a pen as she was on the stage
Acting with James Earl Jones, Gossett, and Cicely Tyson
Wrote for and worked with Malcolm X and King
She lived and loved in Paris, Cairo, and Ghana

And she was just getting started

At the height of her career she produced movies
She wrote scores and songs for Roberta Flack
She won Tony Awards
She won honorary degrees, and then she gave back.
By the time I came on the scene at the age of 13
she had accomplished all of these things
And I as a child looked at her life and her works
And breathed a sigh of relief as her words gave me wings
I saw so many similarities in my past and hers
Downtrodden, beaten, marginalized
I began to see the world through a new set of eyes
Her books gave me solace,
Her words gave me strength
I could see a future for myself beyond arms length.
And she continued to write,
And she continued to speak
She continued to sing
She continued to preach.

And I continued to learn.

She said, "If you only have one smile in you,
Give to the people you love"

"Nothing will work unless you do"

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within"

"The truth is, no one of us can be free until everybody is free"

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.  Don't complain"

"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept love in return.

She was a woman phenomenally..  and she will be missed.

They keep chipping away at our illusion of safety

Whenever something happens to kids, we, us homeschoolers want to find a way to say "this wouldn't happen to my kids, because they are home with us."  But those days eventually end.  My kids are in college now.  They are home for the summer, but in about 8 weeks, they will pack their belongings and go back to college campuses where there will be at the mercy of others with mental illnesses and an axe to grind.

Yes, I am talking about Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger, who shot numerous students and got himself killed last Friday night, all because he felt rejected by hot college girls.  I am pretty angry with the media for plastering his face on the TV screen.  We all knew where to find his YouTube ramblings and manifesto if we so desired, but nope, there it was, right on the TV screen... a rather attractive young college student who spoke in an eerie, measured tone.  He was someone who, if I was not aware of who he was and what he had done, I would find him likable... odd, but likable.

But his words just made me mad! He was angry that girls were attracted to other guys, and not to him. But what did HE do to make himself desirable?  I feel like he thought he was so special that the girls he liked should automatically fall at his feet, but that is not how the world should work.  Was he so caught up in what the world owed him, that he never considered what he owed to the world? You have to be loving and give attention to attract love and attention.  But it feels like people aren't raised to give of themselves anymore. They are raised to take, even when things, love, affection, lives, are

I'ts Eliza Doolittle Day!

It is Eliza Doolittle Day over at Carnival of homeschooling!

Check it out:  http://whyhomeschool.blogspot.com/2014/05/carnival-of-homeschooling-eliza.html