Another reason I have been so quiet is that I am still processing how I feel. Stunned, blown away, confused... this does not even begin to touch on the depth of my feelings.
I went head to head with an old friend who was defending why Zimmerman may have been so gun-shy (realizing the pun) that night, and I really could just not see past my own pain. Nor could I really communicate my pain. I just know that I keep looking at my wonderful son who I put so much effort into raising and homeschooling and I am still wondering how safe he really is.
We made sure he was polite.
We made sure he was smart.
We made sure he was classy and classic.
We made sure he was a man of integrity and honor....
But these are things you cannot tell when you see a young man that it 6'3, 240lbs, and walks with a slow deliberate gait. If it's raining, he may even want to pull on a hood. How does he not look like a profilers definition of a thug? All my work. All my effort. All of his success, and the content of his character is still not the first thing people see?
So excuse me that I can't see past my point of view when looking at this issue, which by the way has NOTHING to do with Zimmerman's actions or motives.
Like I told my old friend, who tried to suggest that we both need to repent for jumping to conclusions...
I can only repent for myself. I can't repent for how some .... person will react to my son. I literally saw a waiter once literally jump 2 feet because my son walked up to him. He was shaking. Took him a minute to calm down, so excuse my reaction, but I am living in a real world of real actions that happen day-in and day-out. I don't want to hear another word about Zimmerman, because at the end of the day, someone's boy got killed over the same assumption that I have SEEN people make about MY kid.But, who am I to second guess a trial. Who am I to second guess God at work. Maybe being free in a world that is now hostile toward you is punishment enough??? But I have lived long enough to know that such a verdict gives others cart blanche to also say... "that person scared me, or worried me, so I confronted him. He hit me, so I shot him."
Funny, I didn't really mean to write all this, but this is how emotionally twisted up I am. I open my mouth and all this stuff just floods out... and if you know ANYTHING about me, you know that race is always the furthest thing from my mind, but I think I am realizing that at the end of the day, we are STILL considered undesirable by many, and that is not cool.
I thought I was just going to introduce a video here, but still have so much to say... so, let me go ahead and introduce the video. This young lady is a YouTube star, a comedian, and a social activist, and she really does have some great healing things to say about this situation. If you have any attention span left after my diatribe, please watch her video.