Second, let me state that my faith in God has not been shaken by this election.
Finally, My faith in humanity, however, has been.
I became a Catholic around the age 5 when my mom married my Catholic Stepdad. My family left the Catholic church when there was a problem with my long-abandoned grandmother decided to divorce. At a more traditional black church I got my hands on a bible... The King James Version.... I was elated. ... and faithful... except for the college years through the early 20's... typical, right? I stayed faithful for many years, but the message stopped sitting well within my heart. I found myself struggling with depression and eventually realized that it was worst on Saturday night... I didn't want to go. I felt a struggle between the word spoken every week, and my heart. The words didn't sit well with Jesus' commandment "That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." And I had to ask myself, time and time again, did this statement show love? And time and time again, it did not. Shaming a woman's clothing, shaming a sexual inclination, punishing a struggle with identity, shaming a reproductive decision, (all of which were none of our business) it was just not cool with me. It hurt my heart.
When it came to Christianity and politics, my faith was damaged long ago. At a homeschool program, where I was minding my business, selling tickets for a show, a "teacher" approached me and said loudly "Are you going to vote for Obama because you're black". (This was 2008, I am sure I blogged about this). She followed with "you can't be Christian if you vote for Obama". Not long after that, a leader in my church (not the pastor), when I said I did not agree with something said, "you can't have that opinion because people look up to you... if you disagree, so will they". I wasn't done right then and there, but It did not feel right to set what I knew what right in my heart and mind against "church obedience". And maybe I'm just not an obedient person. There's that. But I feel like I can love God and Love ALL Gods people and at the same time follow the sensitive mind and heart that God gave me. So over the course of some years, my family gave up the status of being Church-going Christians to being unchurched... Christians.
And then there's Trump. I heard more than once that people were voting for him that it is the Good Christian thing to do. That a good Christian would vote for Trump. And good Christians were using slogans like "Trump that Bitch".... and I was like... oh-my-goodness.... this is not love. This is not Jesus' commandment. This is not Christian. And to add insult to injury, for Christian leaders to get behind him and support him, broke me in a way that is irreparable.
((((I do not believe that someone's private life should be dictated by the church and that it is better to have an angry racist than someone who will give women the right to their own bodies.... whenever a churched person tries to explain their Trump decision to me, this is what I get from it... that Trump is better than abortion... I say, that person's abortion is not your business... love is.))))
- I cannot participate in a faith based organization that espouses anything but love. Period.
- I cannot abide a political candidate who thrives on hate and division.
- I cannot live under a tyrant.
- And I will not be quiet in the face of hate.
So, you might want to say I am not A good Christian, and I probably am not, not by your definitions, but my faith is in God and my "rules" are in Jesus' last commandment. If I can do that, I can die with a good heart. In the meantime, I will live, and reject hate.
The results of this election are the results of HATE. I will fight this, in the name of Love and in the name of God. ... I don't know what I mean by that... but I will fight back.
ps. Don't ask me to pray for that man. I will instead pray for the innocent black and brown and gay people and the women who are being physically attacked since this snake reared his ugly head.