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Showing posts with the label journal

Looking forward to Christmas break

I'm more excited about the boy's college graduation and the girls 3 weeks at home more than the actual holiday.  If I ever was a scrooge before, I am certainly feeling it now. I just paid college tuition for the last time... for my daughter... for the school she is in. We are waiting to hear from my son's college re his grad school application, so there's money.... and girl wants grad school eventually, and I'm sure that's gonna cost us something... sooo... Anyway, I can't wait for my daughter to get home so we can hang out and sew stuff and have inappropriate conversations... cuz that's what we do.  She's just growing up so fast that I find it both depressing and exciting.  She even had her first doctors appointment without me this week... she felt like garbage and did not ask me to drive 2 hours each way to accompany her to the doctor.  If course I had to reimburse her for the copay (yikes) and the prescription (double yikes) but she was well e...

Nearing 50 and having moments...

So, I changed my blog title.  It was coming for some time.  My youngest homeschooler graduates from college in May and my oldest just applied for Grad school... and while I am still somewhat involved and give advice to homeschoolers (and am almost done with my book), my most passionate posts as of late have been about me and dealing with this world.  Check out my Anger and loathing series and you will see what I mean. I am constantly having moments. I am short tempered.  It gets real hot at the most inopportune times and my under-boob skin is dry and sensitive.  I've spent my whole life being a "natural beauty" with the exception of some awkward teen years, and now My bathroom is bursting with potions and bottles.  Lord, Help Me!! So this is where I am at. Enjoy the ride.

I'm trying

Welp.  I am still not happy and don't know when I will be again. Is that depression? Is that anger? Is that denial? Am I having a hissy fit? Maybe one, maybe some, maybe all. I don't know about you all, but I can clearly see how things will go wrong. We are not dealing in reality and it seems most people don't have the the willingness or ability to see it.  I don't mean to insult, as I have friends who actually want the reality we live in, but my sensing leaves me in a foreboding mood. A friend told me that he doesn't understand how warm and engaging I am in person because it contradicts with my frank, stern nature online.  I think I am a teddy bear all the time, or at least I want to be, but now really isn't a good time to be a teddy bear is it... and he had only known me for a year, so he missed out on a lot. Anyway I am rambling! Two college graduations are getting sooner and sooner... so for us, at least homeschooling works. I think a lot m...

Love and caring in the midst (It's GA Gives Day)

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Y'all know I'm salty, and sad, and just plain petty these days.  That's ok though, my mood has its justifications, and it's purpose. The fire lit in my soul will go to good use. In the midst of what I feel like is madness have been beautiful moments though. People being extra kind so as to say, "I see you hurting, but I will stand in the gap". Last night as I was going to a theatre event at the local Taco Mac, I made it to the door before a man, and hesitated as I always do as I tend to stop and judge the next person's distance to decide if I should hold the door open or if it would be weird (cuz I'm awkward like that).  As I determined he was at 'holdable distance' he spoke up.  "allow me", he said.  As I thanked him and reached for the inner door he said, "and again".  (Sniff... sniff.... so sweet) So I allowed him to grab the second door and thanked him again... and my mood was lifted for the rest of the evening. Di...

Deep thoughts

Is Facebook killing the blog?   Perhaps. I find that I have begun to journal there, but here are two tidbits I have written that I'd like to share:   Oct 22 I keep waking up with one word on my mind: lenses.  Our lenses influence how we interpret the world. They are first constructed by our parents and as children our lenses mirror theirs as we think they can do no wrong. Think of these as the eyes you are born with. Then our friends and teachers start to add adjustments to help us see things differently or more clearly. Think of these as your first pair of corrective glasses. At some point many of us decide our parents are compl etely crazy or that we trust others more than them, and we over correct our lenses , likely to spite them. Have you ever tried on someone else's glasses? Leaves things out of focus, doesn't it? By the time we mature we've shed a lot of the eyeglasses that we have put on over the years.. sometimes we have a lot of glasses to shed. We ...

Anger and Loathing... at the thrift store.

Update: Sept 2016.  Better. The main person that seemed to be sending employees over to specifically police me is gone. The still do things like act like the customer being there is keeping them from getting their jobs done... but the harassment has waned. I left a yelp review today.  Not something I do very often.  It is for: Park Avenue Thrift Outlet 134 S Clayton St Lawrenceville, GA 30046 Here it is.  They really made me lose my cool this weekend.  They suck.  I shop here regularly because I make costumes for a not-for-profit. I usually donate the costumes I create. This store gives me the best bang for my buck, and I tend to find interesting pieces. However, the staff makes me not want to come back.  I feel like they see customers as a hinderance to doing their job. They are busy forcing as many items onto the rack as possible and if you are flipping through a rack, they will just push by you and close the little opening you h...

Living life in Limbo

I tend to be very quiet when I don't have control of my life... and I don't have control. It looks like our NYC experiment is almost over.  The timing is wrong to continue... but it all hinges on someone else deciding to hire hubby and him accepting.  We've been in this limbo for a couple of weeks. After apartment hunting and getting rejected for some sketchy reasons (a conversation for later), I found a nice place to move to, but it is on hold until the decision is cemented. As I emotionally separate from NYC, I also begin to realize that there are a lot of things I don't like... that are quite troubling indeed... also another conversation. In the meanwhile, my kids are pretty much all grown up, and repopulating the nest.  It dawns on my that big son won't be leaving for college in the fall... and as he re-arranges and cleans the basement, the realization that he will be around for a couple of years sets in. The little woman is also planning to take over ...

Life takes over... an update

I haven't blogged.  I haven't written my favorite penpal.  I haven't even had a good tub soak! In NYC were about to move to a new apartment... It's been nearly a year. In ATL the business is going well and I'm preparing to design costumes for Children of Eden. And that's what is going on in my life. Things that have made me sad:   Prince Died. Trump is still running for President.  Things that made my happy: The kids will be home soon... my son until he decides he's ready to move out, and  my daughter for the summer.  I'm costuming Children of Eden.   And that's my update.  XOXO

Where has the time gone, and where is it going?

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Here is this morning's post from Facebook: This kid is truly grown up and has 2-3 semesters left of college... if she chooses, she can sit out the last semester, because she would have met all the requirements to graduate... or she can relax and coast the last 2 semesters by taking the smallest work load as possible. There's also the option of turning her minor into a second major. Here is what she looks like now: She won't pose for photos anymore, so we rarely get full frontal face. We have to paparazzi her! The man child is on his final full semester of college, then a couple of summer classes and done. College wasn't as easy for him, it took some work and growth, but his last two semesters were 4.0 so we feel like he's really got his legs under him now.  Oh you want a photo?  Let's see what I can dig up. I lifted this from his Facebook page.  It is his self portrait... and with the exception of some beardage and the fact that he has chan...

So about NYC

We're supposed to be living the dream with our fancy schmancy apartment due to my husband's job in NYC... and in theory, it is going great, but the timing is wonky.  We don't want to sell he house in GA and we have dogs that we can't have in the apartment, so hubby is spending a lot of time alone in NY and I am spending a lot of time alone in GA. I am managing to keep myself busy enough with the community theatre, but this distance is just difficult.  The fact that he's not exactly thrilled with his job does not help... so I am keeping an open mind about what might happen next because I certainly don't want him to stroke-out in order to make me happy with a little time in NY now and then. I'm kind of frustrated. I need to try to enjoy my minutes in NY as much as I can while I am here because I don't know how long it will last. Oh, and also, I am working on getting my homeschool book finished and my time in NY is the best time to work on it... so th...

Checking in with Adult homeschooled kids

So how are they doing? They are OK, and maybe a bit too evolved for other people their age.  Seriously, they are doing just fine navigating the real world, but they are not necessarily in sync with their age mates around them.  And they are OK with that. And I am OK with that too. Let's see if I can explain. My 21 year old, seems very much like a normal 21 year old male.  He keeps his personal life close to his chest because that's "private".  He is very close to his family members, such as his sister and cousins, and honestly, that's how I get the 911 on my son.  But that thing that is most clearly apparent about him is that he doesn't have any patience for nonsense... by nonsense I mean bad behavior in general.  Rule breaking, lack of consideration, rudeness, meanness.  He lives on a college campus.  These things happen around him all the time.  He typically just avoids it and will not participate. My guess is that he was not desensit...

My first month in NYC

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My cell phone camera is like a memory bank.  I don't use it so much to take photos of beautiful things I see... first, because I don't fancy myself a tourist.  Second, because everything is beautiful.  I can get caught up in the most fascinating textures of gritty places, and gleam of glass and steel buildings.  In NY, It's all art to me, but I digress. <<Here's my most used photo.... a reminder of when the ferry to IKEA runs. It can be kind of hard to ignore social issues when you are in NY. Right now everything around here is rainbow colors in celebration of the right for gay people to marry.  People are literally celebrating in the streets, since there is an actual parade going on not too far from my apartment, and this week I went to Broadway sings for Pride, which was an AMAZING show and since the main goal was preventing young people

My first week in NYC

So I am coming to the end of my first few weeks in NYC, I am heading back to the suburbs of Atlanta in a few days, where I will be furiously working on a costuming project, spending time with the young adult kids, and then coming back here to finish setting up the apartment. I will bringing some stuff from the house like plates, and other stuff I have in triplicate to make the apartment more homey. I am very lucky to have pen pal of sorts.  Writing to someone daily helped my chronicle my journey. Here are some of the more "fun" occurrences as they happened: I am on the bus to NY right now. I should be there In a few hours. I need a Xanax. I thought I was all hardy and such. I could rough it. I'm not above the bus. Ummm. Apparently I'm a delicate flower. First, the lack of communication. How dare I expect customer service and think my questions should be answered. This is the bus lady and it costs $50 round trip. Shut up and get in line. I climb onto the bus...

How far will you go to save money?

My current life's journey/adventure includes setting up a second home (an apartment) in NYC, which I will spend as much time as possible at, and which hubby will work from.  Being a very thrifty person, I am struggling with a lot of the costs of NYC.  Which brings me to the question, how far will you go to save money?  When I first quit my working full time, while pregnant with my son (who is about to turn 21), I did some reading of a very popular series of books called the Cheapskate Gazette.  There were lots of tips and ideas for stretching money so a family could survive on one salary and even prosper.  Some of the ideas were great.  Buying in bulk, freezing meals, couponing, etc.  But some of the ideas were off the wall... for my sensibilities anyway.   I drew the line at the menstruation cup.  Thanks, but no thanks.  I stuck to sanitary napkins and tampons.   Likewise, being here in NYC, my first impulse is to...

Once a homeschooler, always a homeschooler

It's been over two years since we were active homeschoolers, and I still find it creeping into my thoughts, my conversations, and my life. Take for instance, the young man who showed us our NYC apartment. He mentioned that he needed to get his kid out of public schools, and off the conversation went into the land of homeschooling.  Hubby, actually needed to be held back.  He really feels it is the only way to go.  I could tell however, that this young man and his wife were both working outside the home and neither were in a position to pull back and to deal with all the restrictions, rules, and regulations of a NYC homeschooler... I although I did mention that the laws were much more lax in Jersey, right across the river. We talked about successes, things I would differently if I had to do over, and so much more.  We ended up taking the appointment, but the conversation was all about homeschooling.  Go figure. Then there's the fact that people ask me about...

Adventures in NYC Intro

I am blogging from an iPad which has its challenges.  Whenever I have computer access I will go back and fix typos and better format anything that looks wonky. I will also turn video links into embedded videos, please be patient. I recorded a YouTube video today that talks a little more about where we are and what we are doing. http://youtu.be/9e0zx98zjQk Setting up a new home definitely has it's challenges.  In NYC, the challenges are magnified. We supplied everything but blood samples to get into a doorman building in the financial district... But that is done. We picked out furniture and also got case goods from IKEA... done and done. We set up utilities, got into it with Time Warner (no surprise) cancelled and set up new utilities. When the issue is played out, or settled, I will blog about it in full.. I will say this much now, don't let Con Edison set up your other utilities for you.. They are actually patching you into another company that may very well cause a g...

Greetings from the Big Apple

I was in NYC last week, apartment hunting, as we are starting a bit of an adventure that I have been kind of talking about all year.  Hubby's job is out of NYC, but we are maintaining our Atlanta home for the meanwhile. Our kids are still in college and like to come home, plus this is hubby's dream home. In an ideal world we will pay off this home and retire to it.  In this unpredictable world, our NY adventure could be over in a couple of years, in which case we will settle back into our home full time... or, we may decide we LOVE NYC so much that we move entirely or just downsize to something much smaller here. God is good. Surely this process is scary and confusing, but we are able to do it without going broke.  Were not rich, but our needs and desires have been provided. I made a youtube video for the first time in ages last week.  All the editing programs are different, and I have some learning to do... this video is rough.  And in two parts.  It...

What I was going to do and why I didn't do it

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I feel so unfocused lately.  I want more than anything to pick up the sketchbook and canvas again, but when you have this kind of adult distraction disorder (ADD - without the hyperactivity) It doesn't take much to remove your focus. In short, I haven't done my art-a-day run because we are about to be dually located.  Hubby's job is moving him to NYC, but he wants to keep our home here as well.  I talked about this a little in the fall, then, that got changed, and now it is back on again.  Just when I thought I had let go of the dream of that happening (I really, really, really, really love NY) it became not just an offer, but an order. The struggles of being a corporate employee's wife.... i.e. first world problems.  Waaaaah, I have to manage two homes... (but I get the HAVE two homes). So no more whining... but serious distractibility... for sure. So in case you wondered... that's what's going on. The Rugrats will be home this weekend from college. ...

Getting back to my creative space

I told a friend that I was planning to post and art piece a day again, now that my costuming project is over.  She suggested I include costuming too, so I will post an art piece or costume piece a day.  I hope. I went to the thrift store yesterday to try to find some items to inspire me to make a costume out of my imagination... I found some things, but I also found some items that I put up on Ebay today because they were good quality and still had tags, except one which just did not need any changes at all.  They are uniform pieces and on Asian costume.  Nice stuff.  here are the links. (auctions are over) I am also considering joining an artists association or two.  I think.  We shall see.  I could use the inspiration, but am not quite sure I play well with others. Until next time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Y'all!

Needless to say my kids are home from college and I am enjoying them, so... no blogging.  I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  I'm looking forward to a year of personal growth, and creativity.  I wish you all the best of all things, for yourselves and your families. See you in 2015.