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Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Friday, July 07, 2017

Mammograms and my scattered life

Unlike last time, I got a letter back from the women's center saying my mammogram is all clear. "No abnormalties that indicate breast cancer. The last time THEY acted completely freaked out, called me back in, did another mammogram while making no eye contact, then left me laying on a table for over an hour while a doctor went around looking at women's results, doing a hands-on exam and telling them whether or not they had cancer.  I lay on that table for over an hour listening to women crying... I started planning my will.  Fortunately, I had some pearl-cysts he said... not cancer...  but what an ordeal.  To rub more salt in the would, they completely messed up my billing (hence the experience this time).  But the cysts eventually went away, I poked them daily for like a year until I could not feel them anymore, and I am all good.

I don't know about this FitBit. Maybe I'm nuts, but I think I can feel the sensors... I am very aware of my wrist the whole time. I am tracking my meals and keeping them 500-1000 calories a day under what I burn. It is making me get up more and to exercise more... and I have lost a couple pounds so I will keep using it for a while.

My work has me perplexed. I need to finish the book I am working on...It needs to be finished, and I need to get going with my homeschool advocacy.  There never seems to be the time.  It is probably the most important thing I am doing.

Meanwhile,... The industry I jumped into last year (vintage and antique furniture) is actually struggling right now as an industry and I have moved shops and am trying different things, because the most dedicated people do make money. I am just really mad that one of the places I joined recently over represented their sales... sure, there are always cars in the parking lot, but they are all vendors cars, so... yeah... The good news is the newest place I found is doing well, and kinda effortlessly, but it is a design center, not a vintage or antique place, and the things I find attractive seem to sell well there. I am looking forward to putting up my Christmas display.  In addition, my bestie just got her Real-Estate license (remember when I was trying that) and I am helping to set up her business... I will be introducing her soon... she's kinda awesome. I have dabbled in real-estate my entire life and have a paralegal degree, and as her career takes off, I could unintentionally end up with a job.

Since the last election, I have quietly participated in groups that discuss politics, but they are starting to lose focus and bicker too much for my comfort. As the next election draws near, I know focus will come back, but for now, I have retreated because my sanity is important.... and thinking about the state of our politics non stop will make anyone angry.

Yes, this is all too much, and if you follow me you know I also make costumes and am on the board of a community theatre... This kind of work probably needs to be passed on to my daughter... I like being valued, but it is her real gifting, I only got into it due to her.

Oh yeah, I'm an artist... I really need to paint something... and things seem to be MOVING on the home front... I may be building a house.  Shoot me now.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Anniversary, Puerto Rico, Education, and Zika

No I don't have Zika... I don't think.  But according to the signs I passed at the airport, on my way out, I very well could and not know it.

Had I known about the possibility of Zika in Puerto Rico, I would have used more bug repellant while I was there, even though I am allergic to Deet.  Now I am using repellant to prevent getting bit at home so I am not personally responsible for brining Zika to GA and beyond. 

Other than that, celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary on a tropical island was fun. And pretty.  See. 

If you look, city is pretty apparent through the facade of resort. And if you know anything about Puerto Rico, things aren't going well for the people who live there. 

Much like New Orleans, Puerto Rico relies on tourism, but it is not pulling the numbers to keep it afloat. The US Territory is currently in the midst of bankruptcy.  (The US should be paying closer attention because this can happen to us). 

For years, Puerto Rico borrowed money by issuing municipal bonds, using the funds to compensate for declining government revenue and prevent deep cuts in services and layoffs of public workers. It easily found investors. ~
The results is medical facilities and schools are closing. SCHOOLS ARE CLOSING.  Those locals who can, are leaving. The poor will be left destitute and in a 3rd World situation, if the US doesn't step in, and I doubt they will. We clearly get to take the resources and give nothing back.  As of today, it was announced, that more than 300 Puerto Rico schools will be closed by August. For reals. 

Parents are panicked! But us homeschooled mamas are like... hey... Yall need some curriculum?  The rules there are oppressive, but since they are closing actually schools, do they really care?  Won't they just rubberstamp the private school applications? 

I'm sitting over here trying to figure out how to bring homeschooling en-mass to the island without contacting Zika... I'm kinda serious.  Live on the beach... run a homeschool co-op.  Lean Spanish.  yeah. 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Gates, Fences, and Walls

As is typical in Metro Atlanta, I live in what some would call a McMansion, in a gated community. It didn't take me long to discover that I was locked in with the crazies. The people within this gated community act just as squirrely as the people on the outside.

Within our upper-middle income community, we have had thefts, drug deals, speeding on streets kids play on, and vandalism... the people that did the crimes lived within the community.  Take for instance the fact that my car was ransacked last night. The thief took my backpack. But before they took it they removed the contents.. My binder for the community theatre board, my folders and receipts for each costuming project. They just took the backpack and the cell phone charging brick that was in the pocket.... well, that and then they tossed the car looking for change. They didn't even take the Gas card that had $17.00 on it. Chances are, this was a neighborhood kid.  Who lives in my community. If I see my backpack again, I will be pressing charges.

So besides the fact that my neighborhood is gated... there are actually 2 gates because it is a 2 part neighborhood and the pool and tennis are in the other part, the pool is fenced.  Tall fences... tacky fences with a bit of wire at the top to keep outsiders from climbing over and using the facilities. When they put in that horrible looking prison fence and the security cameras I stopped using it altogether.  First, I felt jailed. Second, I felt watched. No one wants to feel watched in their swimsuit... so fencing the pool took the enjoyment out of it.

And then there are walls. Who are they really for? And do you really want to be trapped in with the people building them?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Obama Care - tRumps only chance

People keep telling me to give tRump a chance.  Well here it is:


In anticipation to his inaugur-disater, Republican lawmakers have voted to repeal

Preexisting conditions, keeping young adults on parents plans, pretty much just the whole damn thing.

I hope people are happy, but here's what it means to me.


My mother and several of her sisters died of cancer.
I have polycistic ovarian syndrome
I am pre-diabetic.
I have had a hysterectomy.
(But I am valuable)

I am a bad risk for insurance companies.  If I get sick, I will die. Period.

I have many people in my family in worse shape than me... they have had cancer and are lucky to be alive.  But lawmakers are yelling, repeal baby!

Why? Because a black president is attached to it.  (it is what it is)

Yes, it was imperfect, but it is what THEY helped design.

So tRump... slow down the repeal, and replace it with something that won't make getting sick a gamble.

I never really understood why healthcare is managed by insurance anyway... getting sick in an inevitability, not a game of craps.

Fix this and I promise to capitalize your name appropriately, despise you a little bit less..

Good luck.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

So close to using swear words... Don't tell me how to feel.

I got a text of Facebook messenger on Sunday, when I was on the way to eat with my family.  Here are are some tidbits.

The note started saying that I posted a story where two people defended two Chinese women who were being racially attached on a train... The story said that this we part of the Trump Effect. I believe it is.   Personally, I would rather be approached publicly where I can defend myself publicly than under the "I love you" guise of friendship... we last talked 2 years ago. 

I'm like... uh... no... I'm pretty sure Jesus ruffled some feathers by not falling in line with leadership.  Otherwise they wouldn't have hung him.  I don't have to respect "leaders who ever they be"... I just need to pay my taxes. 

And this is where they lost me.  For real.  I started spitting and cursing and my son threatened to take my phone and delete the Facebook messenger app!  I don't care how you feel about Obama... really, I don't...  It's good that African American's can admit they don't like him if they don't.... It shows that we are not mindless sheep... however.  You used hate against gays and immigrants to make a point.. and our conversation is over.  I.JUST.CANT.  

There was more to the conversation of course... your kids are awesome, you are a great person, I love you, etc, etc.... but that part about "your character is off right now and you are not acting Christian, was an insult.  Defending people who are currently being beat down on is very, very Christian... I don't care who is doing it or why.  I would rather DIE than look the other way.  

Thank you for reading to the end of this rant. 

Monday, November 14, 2016

To safety pin or not to safety pin. Is this a question?

This is part of my Anger and Loathing Series re the 2016 election.  Feel free to read my other posts.

So women of all hues have opted to start wearing safety pins in a silent protest and show of solidarity.  We, as women of the Pantsuit Nation have chosen to wear this symbol to let people who need to SEE allies see them.  People are seeing the pins and making eye contact, and smiling, because that symbol makes one feel not alone. I think it is a great idea.

Furthermore, the pin for many is a promise that if they see you being stepped on, marginalized, or threatened that the wearer will step in.  I think it is a beautiful thing.

(The safety pin movement offers solidarity post-election)

But then there's the opinion that the safety pins may not be such a good thing.  (I'm just going to add here that a white man wrote the article and has started the question... and directed it toward white women, the article spoke to both protect and shame in my opinion).  I get his point too....  He's asking people, if you are going to wear the pin, what else are you going to do.  Are you just putting on a pin to make yourself feel better, or will you put your money where your mouth is?  Will you step in and take a punch if it is thrown?  Wearing the pin is not enough... in fact, it is embarrassing, is his point. I think.

Ok, so maybe people didn't think out this safety pin thing too well.  A woman got called the C-word on the way to work... for wearing the pin, and a man spit in her face.  Wearing that little pin is no joke... it is hard.  It makes you a target of friends, family members, and the worst (in my personal experiences) it makes you a target of your friends friends who will come straight for you as they feel close enough to speak their mind, but far enough away to not feel any responsibility for your hurt.  Yes, the pin is a dangerous thing.  (...and I am crying while writing this)... there is gravity here... It is serious.

But still people go too far.  A jewelry maker decided to monopolize on the trend... Unless they are donating ALL the proceeds to planned parenthood or civil rights groups or some kind of protection agency, battered women...something ... shame on them.  (Jewelry maker charges $335 for Safety Pin "solidarity" necklace)

And some people will go farther.  Me, a Christian woman, (while many will disagree) am designing a special pin for myself and the women close to me... I only have it partially figured out right now.  It will have a rainbow aspect to it for LGBTQ but I also want a muslim aspect and a jewish aspect and a BLM aspect too... maybe I will need multiple pins, but I want people to know that I see them, and they are safe with me...  Can I protect them, maybe, maybe not, but I am a safe person to talk to, to find solace in, and I am always game for a hug.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Depression in the 2016 election aftermath

I am deeply rooted in an overwhelming sense of depression.

And I wrote that sentence and let is set for a whole 5 minutes.

I am depressed because I now realize that good does not necessarily outweigh bad.  I believe that those who made this decision may have meant good, but they had to willingly choose to ignore the bad to make this decision... And so the bad wins.

And here are how people are acting since the election.

  • Black people are being called nigger in the streets... and being told to go back to Africa. 
  • Some kids at a school put up signed for colored and white water fountains. 
  • Muslims are being attacked even more than before. 
  • Hispanic children, Mexican or not, are being taunted with "build a wall, build a wall".

... and worse.

And instead of these same good people standing in and saying, this is not who we are, they are instead deflecting with "well you have no right to boycott" and "you're exaggerating".

And as a black woman in America with black children, I don't like people right now.  And I don't trust people right now, and even though I only got out of my bed a couple hours ago, I want to crawl back into it.

So please excuse my angry journaling.  This is how I get over depression... you don't have to read it.  It is mine.

Fortunately, bubbling underneath, is peace, cuz God... and determination... cuz will.  Imma be good... but I need to be sad and bitter for a minute.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Where my faith stands after the 2016 election

First, you might want to read yesterday's post and then come back to this one. (Anger and loathing and the 2016 election)

Second, let me state that my faith in God has not been shaken by this election.

Finally, My faith in humanity, however, has been.

I became a Catholic around the age 5 when my mom married my Catholic Stepdad. My family left the Catholic church when there was a problem with my long-abandoned grandmother decided to divorce. At a more traditional black church I got my hands on a bible... The King James Version....  I was elated. ... and faithful... except for the college years through the early 20's... typical, right? I stayed faithful for many years, but the message stopped sitting well within my heart.  I found myself struggling with depression and eventually realized that it was worst on Saturday night... I didn't want to go. I felt a struggle between the word spoken every week, and my heart.  The words didn't sit well with Jesus' commandment "That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." And I had to ask myself, time and time again, did this statement show love?  And time and time again, it did not.  Shaming a woman's clothing, shaming a sexual inclination, punishing a struggle with identity, shaming a reproductive decision, (all of which were none of our business) it was just not cool with me. It hurt my heart.

When it came to Christianity and politics, my faith was damaged long ago.  At a homeschool program, where I was minding my business, selling tickets for a show, a "teacher" approached me and said loudly "Are you going to vote for Obama because you're black".  (This was 2008, I am sure I blogged about this).  She followed with "you can't be Christian if you vote for Obama".   Not long after that, a leader in my church (not the pastor), when I said I did not agree with something said, "you can't have that opinion because people look up to you... if you disagree, so will they".  I wasn't done right then and there, but It did not feel right to set  what I knew what right in my heart and mind against "church obedience".  And maybe I'm just not an obedient person.  There's that.  But I feel like I can love God and Love ALL Gods people and at the same time follow the sensitive mind and heart that God gave me. So over the course of some years, my family gave up the status of being Church-going Christians to being unchurched... Christians.

And then there's Trump. I heard more than once that people were voting for him that it is the Good Christian thing to do.  That a good Christian would vote for Trump.  And good Christians were using slogans like "Trump that Bitch".... and I was like... oh-my-goodness.... this is not love.  This is not Jesus' commandment. This is not Christian.  And to add insult to injury, for Christian leaders to get behind him and support him, broke me in a way that is irreparable.

((((I do not believe that someone's private life should be dictated by the church and that it is better to have an angry racist than someone who will give women the right to their own bodies.... whenever a churched person tries to explain their Trump decision to me, this is what I get from it... that Trump is better than abortion... I say, that person's abortion is not your business... love is.))))

  • I cannot participate in a faith based organization that espouses anything but love. Period.
  • I cannot abide a political candidate who thrives on hate and division.
  • I cannot live under a tyrant.
  • And I will not be quiet in the face of hate.

So, you might want to say I am not A good Christian, and I probably am not, not by your definitions, but my faith is in God and my "rules" are in Jesus' last commandment.  If I can do that, I can die with a good heart.  In the meantime, I will live, and reject hate.

The results of this election are the results of HATE. I will fight this, in the name of Love and in the name of God. ... I don't know what I mean by that... but I will fight back.

ps.  Don't ask me to pray for that man.  I will instead pray for the innocent black and brown and gay people and the women who are being physically attacked since this snake reared his ugly head.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Anger and Loathing and the 2016 election

Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 and went to the polls to work to make sure that all my fellow citizens (that I could affect) got a change to exercise their vote. I returned home around 10pm.  I was tired, and after glancing over the results tapes from my 11 voting machines... I was discouraged.  I didn't want Trump to Win...

As of this moment, it seems as though he has.

Inspite of

An active Child Rape case,
Consumer Fraud,
and other scandals...

And I am angry.  I am angry that I processed hundreds of voters yesterday and while some of them were just a-holes toward me, most of them smiled in my face, called me sweet-heart and voted against my best interest. I know that's reaching to expect any empathy, but it does get under my skin.  What I am really angry about though is that I know that countless people, many on my "Facebook friends list" and those who have "befriended" me in real life, voted against my best interest.  I am most upset because the candidate, who would at least preserve my best interest ... for at least 4 years lost... and I don't just feel uncomfortable... (I was uncomfortable with Bush 43, and then voted for him for his second term).... no, I am distraught.

And just in case I haven't spelled it out yet, here is how I feel.

I am a:

Black (The exhausting task of being black in America)

Christian Woman (Here's why these Christian Women Don't want to Live IN Donald Trump's America)

From a family from the South (Growing up Jim Crow)

Who were depressed and depressive. (Racism Breeds Depression and Other Problems)

Due to Institutional racism and Jim Crow Laws.  (Institutional Racism is our Way of Life)

And living in a world where black children are programmed to go straight to prison (Dismantling the School to Prison Pipeline)

I have friends, loved ones, and relatives who are LGBT (and/or) Q.  (Christian Parents of LGBTQ Children: The Church has been Wrong)

I am the wife of a black business executive. (Black in Corporate America & So Very Tired)

My birth father is an Immigrant, My beloved Dad (stepdad) is the son of an Immigrant, my husband, the father of my children is an immigrant.  (Trump is against legal immigration too)

I am the proud mother of a young black man (Fact Sheet: Outcomes for Young, Black Men)

And a young black women.  (Black, Poor, and Woman in Higher Education: What I Learned from Graduate School)

This is sum of who I am.

This is my legacy... and in a Trump Presidency, I feel like any ground we have made up under President Obama will be lost... socially, at the very least.  And that makes me sad, and angry, and ... stabby.

... and if you cannot relate in a tangible way to any of these issues, you ARE truly privileged, and you probably have no problems with a Trump Presidency.

Don't think I don't understand why you have voted for Trump or for 3rd party. I get it. Hillary was flawed, and like it or not, was attached to her husbands flawed legacy.  There is no way a mere woman who stood for the rights of other marginalized groups could win against a white man... any white man, ever, period.

I think white women have just learned something that all black people taught their children when I was growing up.  It made us kids so angry and we actually rejected this teaching until it was too late. It is this... Black people have to work twice as hard to get half as much.  (Black workers really do need to be twice as good.)  White women, are in the same boat. We all know that President Obama won because he was beyond reproach.  His Leadership and Character Traits were not mouth service.  He was the real thing. To have any candidate for president we need people who are pretty much sainted.  Because if this Moron of an orange human (yes, I said that) can win over experience and diplomacy, we have to admit that the deck is stacked and a penis and skin color and money trumps experience, and positivity, any day, every day.

This is my world... I understand it, but I don't have to like it, and I sure as hell don't need to pray for this presidency.  It is not a sin to pray against something... Christians have been praying against abortion for ages... so....  I am praying for protection of the under represented and the underdogs... so deal with it. Because here is the thing.  I abhor this guy.  He has fueled racism in an ugly, terrible way.  Tell yourself whatever you must.  Blame it on Obama if you will... but this man is a very, very bad man, with very bad ideas. The people from his deplorable contingent is calling him a "God" and a "King".  He is dangerous and I will not get behind him.  I will not.

So please forgive my anger and loathing this morning. But my daughter called me last night with trembling in her voice... so much that I thought she'd been in a car accident.  MY son is in disbelief right now... so maybe your non-ethnic status quo is protected for four more years, but mine is in danger.  Enjoy this. Good luck with that.

But there's always some lemonade to be made from these freaking bitter lemons.
My daughter told me last night that she is now a political activist.  We can't fight this stacked deck by just voting. We need to get out and participate.  We must act.  I am now a political activist too.  I just need a moment to find out where exactly I stand and how I will proceed.

Oh, and to anyone who thinks a Trump Presidency will bring some kind of white utopia and he will give back in any way???  You've been scammed.  Trump is all about himself and no one else.

Monday, October 03, 2016

Amendment 1 Georgia 2016: Will allow the state to take over failing schools.

It sounds good, right?, but somehow I'd never even heard about it until I ran across a Facebook video today.  I couldn't pull the video, but here is the Facebook page:

Then I read this:,_Amendment_1_(2016)

And this:

and I am not feeling too good about it...

to paraphrase, from what I understand is the state will take over failing schools that could not meet the numbers in 3 years.  Then they would be able to hire and fire and change curriculum, and hold that school for 5-10 years, and if THEY could not then bring the school up to par, they would close the school.

That's bothersome.  I'd like to know more... a lot more.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Anger and Loathing... period.

This month has certainly raised my blood pressure.

It started when we decided to not take the new apartment in NYC, and instead to fold back and go back to GA full time, for family reasons mostly. Hubby's company was great about it.  We lost some money with the apartment complexes (just this moment realized I have not gotten my deposit back from the new apartment complex.)

The biggest headache came from the movers who pulled a big time bait and switch, and the then destroyed our belongings like a gorilla destroys a suitcase.  I wrote a review... and I am working on the issue... lawyer involved.

The theatre show I am currently costuming, and my daughter in is ... stressful.  But the costumes are great, and the actress is pretty good too... photos later.

I found myself also working on set with a children's theatre camp, while my daughter worked on

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Sketching and the Devil in the White House

Sketch a day, day 1
I am trying to force my creativity by doing a sketch a day.  I am using some free video lessons by to inspire me.  I used a lesson today on using shapes to draw buildings... this is the house across the street from me.  You could say I am homeschooling myself in art... kind of as a refresher. This sketch took all of 10 minutes.  I am sure I will revisit it later and add ink.

As I was drawing, the news was on. I got distracted from my task when I heard the phrase "the devil in the White House". They were interviewing an elderly early voter who was saying he was voting a straight Republican  ticket because he dislikes the devil in the white house. I had a personal heart response to his comment. It hurt my feelings. I've heard presidents called a lot of things by fellow Americans but never the devil. I couldn't help but wonder what in him made him view Obama as the devil, and what about Obama made him do so.  Do I have some of the same qualities?  Am I a devil too?  I should hope not.... I am sure he though what he was saying was cute. It wasn't cute to me.

And then well-meaning people try to defend it.  I. Just. Can't.

But it did feel good to do a sketch...

One of the lessons I viewed suggested I hold the pencil differently, so I am drawing with my arm and not my hand.  I'm not sure if it was effective or not. It worked well for scaling out the house, but when it was time for detail, I could not help but flip the pencil back around.

Speaking of art, have I ever mentioned that my daughter is minoring in art in college? She wants to up it to a double major, but that is crazy. Her art major (for which she is scholarshipped) already takes up 99% of her time.  That kind of time commitment would be educational suicide. She's real good though. Everything she has created in her 3D class so far this semester has blown me away. You can still see the theatrical influence in her art, so it is a nice compliment.

Monday, November 04, 2013

I've lost faith in politics

I have been very, very distressed about the state of politics lately.  Feeling that it was fueled by a lot more than issues, conservatism, and liberalism, I began to feel jaded and cynical.  I still do.  In short, I'm disgusted.

I had lunch with a good friend Saturday, and we went there.  We discussed politics.  He said something that helped me compartmentalize what I was feeling about the state of our nation and it's rulers.

"Politics is like sports", he said.  "Everyone has a favorite team", he said.  "They don't care who's right or wrong, as long as their favorite team wins".

Yes.  I think that is the crux of the problem.  There are also underlying issues that dictate which team people join, but I really think he hit the nail on the head.

Do you see some truth in this?

Do you think I'm full of crud?

Just curious.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Your character will be judged by how you respond to disappointment

Sometimes things won't go your way.  How will you respond? What will your reaction say about your character?

My daughter spent 6 years in a homeschool drama program.  For the program to be successful, parents needed to be on board and needed to each have a role in keeping it successful.  Some years I was the parent organizer.  Some years I was in charge of costumes.  I did the job I agreed upon regardless of the role my child received in the play, even though there were plenty of times I was less than enthused about it.  Meanwhile, from time to time, there was a parent who backed out of their responsibility usually because they did not like the role their kid received in the play.  I had little respect for such behavior.

I think my daughter was in about 11 plays over the years.  In only 3 of those plays did she get a role that she sought and that we as parents thought she deserved.  There may have been one other show where she got a role that was at least interesting.  Still she took the punches like a champ.  She never once complained and always embraced her role.  As her parent, I did my best to keep my grumbling at home, and even out of her earshot.  After the initial dismay and disappointment, I also embraced my role and and did my job.

Sure I could have balked and screamed and walked away, but that would not have been good for the club as a whole.  If every disappointed parent and/or child walked away, the club would have very likely ended and we would have had to search elsewhere for drama club.  Instead, everyone accepted the roles given for the most part, sucked it up, and embraced the show.  Sure, some had less enthusiasm than others, but we did it, and the club continues to flourish.

There are things going on in government right now, that as far as I am concerned directly mirrors such a situation.  But instead of people accepting that the die has been cast and embracing it, they are holding their breath, stomping, and shutting down the club.

They are showing poor character, and yes, I am judging them.