I've been called lucky. I have a good, good husband, who I love and who loves me. He put's up with my special brand of crazy, he helps me out around the house, and he dominates in the kitchen. I will gladly report that he is a better momma than I am to the kids, and he's just yummy looking.
But it bothers me when people say I am lucky to have him. First of all, he didn't just fall into my lap, and he wasn't my only option. But I looked at him and evaluated his foibles and values against those of others and made a decision with my brain, that he was the person I wanted a relationship with. His were the genes I wanted to merge mine with. He was the person I wouldn't get tired of when the excitement of a new relationship was over. So I let myself love him. That's not luck, that was wisdom.
Even then, it wasn't easy. It took hard work. We are both kind of annoying people. I am serious when he's playful, and he's tired when I am fun. Our upbringings are total opposites and so is what we value. We had to have many heart to heart conversations and find a middle ground on things in which we disagreed (even though we didn't always follow our agreements). On top of that we had to get through years of arguments, and lack of appreciation and then re-appreciation again to be very happy and comfortable with each other. And we still work on it every day. I don't call that luck.
So I came to write this because I was thinking how lucky I am to have my kids. How's that for full circle? They are a joy to be around. They are/were a pleasure to homeschooling. They continue to impress me every day. Are they as good as they are because I was so picky about who I would marry and have children with? Is it because I insulated them from some people and things, and exposed them to others that would be of value to them? Is it because I made a plan early on and set out to follow that plan. Is it because every time that things did not go exactly as I planned, I just gathered the pieces, re-planned and kept on following through.
But what makes me so wise to pick a good husband and end up with such pleasant kids (most of the time). Maybe it's luck after all.... or perhaps I am just blessed.
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12 grade year of homeschooling, Finishing Strong
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2 comments:
I think when they say "lucky," they mean that you ought appreciate that he is not like TOO MANY other men. So it's a combination of your good characters and hard work both. Then too, I know some people who married one man and then he later changed into another. What to say to those poor ladies, I don't know. :(
You're right Happy. I know 2 cases of head trauma ( fall or car accident) where the men left their families afterwards. I don't know any others where something wasn't .... Off. but I haven't experienced everything.
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