Mammograms and my scattered life

Unlike last time, I got a letter back from the women's center saying my mammogram is all clear. "No abnormalties that indicate breast cancer. The last time THEY acted completely freaked out, called me back in, did another mammogram while making no eye contact, then left me laying on a table for over an hour while a doctor went around looking at women's results, doing a hands-on exam and telling them whether or not they had cancer.  I lay on that table for over an hour listening to women crying... I started planning my will.  Fortunately, I had some pearl-cysts he said... not cancer...  but what an ordeal.  To rub more salt in the would, they completely messed up my billing (hence the experience this time).  But the cysts eventually went away, I poked them daily for like a year until I could not feel them anymore, and I am all good.

I don't know about this FitBit. Maybe I'm nuts, but I think I can feel the sensors... I am very aware of my wrist the whole time. I am tracking my meals and keeping them 500-1000 calories a day under what I burn. It is making me get up more and to exercise more... and I have lost a couple pounds so I will keep using it for a while.

My work has me perplexed. I need to finish the book I am working on...It needs to be finished, and I need to get going with my homeschool advocacy.  There never seems to be the time.  It is probably the most important thing I am doing.

Meanwhile,... The industry I jumped into last year (vintage and antique furniture) is actually struggling right now as an industry and I have moved shops and am trying different things, because the most dedicated people do make money. I am just really mad that one of the places I joined recently over represented their sales... sure, there are always cars in the parking lot, but they are all vendors cars, so... yeah... The good news is the newest place I found is doing well, and kinda effortlessly, but it is a design center, not a vintage or antique place, and the things I find attractive seem to sell well there. I am looking forward to putting up my Christmas display.  In addition, my bestie just got her Real-Estate license (remember when I was trying that) and I am helping to set up her business... I will be introducing her soon... she's kinda awesome. I have dabbled in real-estate my entire life and have a paralegal degree, and as her career takes off, I could unintentionally end up with a job.

Since the last election, I have quietly participated in groups that discuss politics, but they are starting to lose focus and bicker too much for my comfort. As the next election draws near, I know focus will come back, but for now, I have retreated because my sanity is important.... and thinking about the state of our politics non stop will make anyone angry.

Yes, this is all too much, and if you follow me you know I also make costumes and am on the board of a community theatre... This kind of work probably needs to be passed on to my daughter... I like being valued, but it is her real gifting, I only got into it due to her.

Oh yeah, I'm an artist... I really need to paint something... and things seem to be MOVING on the home front... I may be building a house.  Shoot me now.

The 7:30 Am Mammogram

I have a horrible fixation with having the first appointment of the morning. I hate the idea of being behind whatever could possibly go wrong during the day. A previous appointment who is late. The doctor (or whoever the appointment is with) having a bad sandwich... whatever could affect the course of one's day.... I don't want it to affect mine. So if the mammogram office tells me that there is a 7:30 AM appointment, I am taking it.

Yes. I am crazy.

First, I didn't sleep well not wanting to miss my appointment and worried that I would not wake up with the 6am alarm (as I had to be there at 7)  so I was cranky and tired. Second, It was for a mammogram, so I had high anxiety. Third, I hadn't had a mammogram in 4 years because the hospital messed up my bill the last time, and it took 3 years to straighten it out, I didn't want to deal with them again.   Also, they scared me to death and inconvenienced me thinking something was wrong for the doctor to decide it was nothing. Oh, I almost caused a car accident on the way... did I say anxiety?

So the first person I deal with is the account person. She doesn't want to be up at that hour either.... and if I remember correctly, she is the same person who did my billing last time. I ask to pay my copay right away, and in a very nasty tone she says she can't because she does not know how much my insurance will cover or not (every other doctor can estimate this though).  I tell her why, because of the problem with the last time, and she gets offensive, and says "I don't know what you are talking about. That did not happen."  So, I'm like whatever, she's like whatever, so whatever.  She walked me to the back and gave me brief instructions, nothing like the gentle instructions I heard her give every other person so... forget her.  Unlike last time, I was not instructed that I could have a refreshment, nothing... she spoke to me like I was a dog. I wanted to cut her, but I did not. She lived.

Thank goodness, the technician was wonderful. She played a weird game of twister with my body, but she was encouraging and pleasant.... and handsy... but that was her job. Unlike the last time, halfway through, she did not fall silent and break eye contact.  I did not leave with more anxiety. Whether I have to go back again for more tests like last time, I am not worried about it... so, good.  That is over, at least for now.

The best thing about that appointment is I was back home by 8:30.... and I took a mid-day nap.

Next time, OBGYN.

My fitbit and me

I got a FitBit for my 49th birthday. I like it. My husband got the newest model which tracks heart rate... and it is sleek and looks really nice, especially with the new rose-gold band I got for it as the original one was bordering on too small. Perhaps it will fit in a couple months.

 I have been tracking my steps wallked, daily calories expended, and my food intake through the handy-dandy iphone app. This is making me aware of the things I mindlessly put in my mouth, and in the long-run, I believe it will help me lose weight.  I want to want to lose 2 pounds a week on average this next year so I will be in good shape by my 50th birthday because I may be knocking of 50's door right now, but next year I am kicking it in.  Wish me luck.

If black women are the most educated group, then we can fix poor education rates in black children

If, as they say, that black women are the most educated group, then in 1 generation, black children should naturally become the most educated group, changing the stereotypes about what we can accomplish academically.

When we know better, we do better.