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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Socialization? (NFAHM lost files)

The Lost Files
Prologue
What a Difference A Year Makes Part 1
Chapter 1: What a Difference A Year Makes Part 2
Chapter 2: Background Influences
Chapter 3: What Am I doing? Part 1
Chapter 3: What Am I doing? Part 2
Chapter 4: Best Laid Plans.... Part 1
Chapter 4: Best Laid Plans.... Part 2
Chapter 5: Socialization?


Most people insist that homeschoolers do not receive socialization that children in schools receive. This makes no sense to me. (Socialization means the adoption of behavior patterns of the surrounding culture.) So in socializing children, we are putting them together to adopt the behavior of all of the children around them? Personally, I would prefer that I be their surrounding culture and they can adopt my behavior.

Growing up, I had my own personal experiences with socialization. In first grade, I found out about guilt by association. Because I received a group spanking in class, I learned to go ahead and get in trouble anyway. In second grade, I learned that children could be cruel. They teased me because of my chronic sinus infections and special shoes. I learned to be cruel first. In third grade, I got beat up for being teacher's pet. This taught me to be rude to teachers. In fourth grade, the children called my mother fat. I learned to be ashamed of her. In fifth grade, I was beat up for not accepting a gift from a boy. I learned not to say no to men. In sixth grade, I made a friend who I used to sneak off the school grounds with at lunchtime. I learned how to effectively lie when we were caught. In seventh grade, I was nearly suspended for repeating that a classmate was pregnant. (The nuns reprimanded me and tried to convince the class that she had a tumor). A year later when I saw her cute little "tumor" all dressed up in pink, I learned that adults lie to children. In 8th grade, our teacher disappeared mid year, I learned that I was not valued enough to say goodbye.

Before I even stepped a foot into high school, I was well socialized. These are not the lessons that I want my children to learn. Lessons like these, ruin a child's self-esteem, and kill their desire to do their best. I realize that some of these "lessons" cannot be avoided forever, but they do not have to be ingrained into the child’s character.

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