I'm fine and I don't feel like crying!

I swear, it is driving me crazy!

People are making a bigger deal about my kids being off at college than I am.

Hubby's coming out of the closet with red swollen eyes.  Brother, sis n law, and everyone else I run into are looking at my eyes for signs of tears.  But I don't feel sad.  So now I am starting to feel like maybe I'm a great big heal for not being a blubbering idiot right now!

The thing is...

They are at college, 2 hours away, and I can get to them quickly if I have to.
I know they are equipped and ready for college and I am celebrating that fact, not bemoaning it.  - I know, because I homeschooled them!
I was given quite the guilt trip when it was time for me to leave for college and I AM NOT going to do that to my kids.
I'm just so giddy with excitement for them and what they are preparing to accomplish in life.

So, please, don't expect me to be unhappy about this very happy occasion.

Tears aren't necessary.  ... and I won't succumb to them.

I am not losing a son and daughter, I just don't have to clean up after them anymore.

The parent's orientation

The day you drop your kids off at college they hand the kids an orientation schedule and they hand the parents an orientation schedule. A big part of the parents orientation is THE TALK. 

It goes something like this.  

Your kids are adults now. 

Your relationship with them is going to change. 

It is not going to be easy but they are going to be fine. 

They also advises us on FERPA laws that state we need our kids' permission to access their information. 

Where the talk from each school differed is in the level of involvement they want from the parents. At son's first university last summer, they told us to back off... Give them space. Don't visit too much.  Don't expect or request phone calls. They are our responsibility now, and we will take care of them..

We listened, and for my son... This was bad advice. He is now at a new school. 

His new school said, talk regularly and gave us advice on how to phrase questions to make sure every thing is OK.  They encouraged us to not stop parenting just yet... And that made me happy because it felt more in Sync with what I as a parent felt was necessary. 

My daughters school was similar and invited parents to partner with them in taking care of the kids and gave advice on weaning them off us and onto the proper resources for different situations. Also great advice. 

Unlike last year, I feel less ripped from my kids and a lot happier that the schools aren't figuratively driving a wedge between parents and kids.  Unlike last year kids are being advise to talk with their parents and vice versa. Unlike last year, I have a really much better feeling about this school year. 

My advice for anyone going through this process to hear what the school has to say and then weigh the advice with what you know about your kid. But last year I was dealing with sending my first kid to college, and now I know better.  

When homeschooling ends

By the time most of you read this, my kids will already be settling into college life.  I am writing this especially for the homeschool carnival to be posted by Homeschool Dad, or as you will soon come to know him... The dad formerly known as Homeschool Dad.  I thought it was important to contribute to this carnival in particular, as like Homeschool Dad, my homeschooling days have also come to an end. If you look back over my blog the last year, you will see our transition to graduating our last homeschooler.

I spent the last summer pretty much in post homeschool mode. I required no assignments of them. I introduced no new material, but like in those pre-homeschool days - from birth to when we started homeschooling, I observed that we are STILL forever teaching our children.

We didn't teach them to walk, talk, or eat with a utensil like when they were small, but like when they were young, I mostly sat back and watched them reach new milestones and prepare for the time when we would not always be present.

While my son has already spent one year at college, we witnessed him question the effectiveness of his first year and make the decision to start fresh at a new school. This process was nothing like when he applied for college the first time... where you pick a handful of colleges you think are cool, apply and hope for the best.  This time he chose to apply to a single college based on his goal, what he had learned from his previous experiences, and a completely different and evolved set of financial values than he had before.

My daughter, leaving home, just weeks after turning 17, is toddling in very much the same way as her brother did a year ago. She is building communication habits that will serve her with her professors.  She is listening to the advice of her brother who went out before her. She is anxious, but excited, and attacking this new adventure just like she did when she practically ran before walking so many years ago.

Yes, homeschooling days are over, but parenting, whether actively, or passively will never end.  I wish Homeschool Dad all the best in his new journey and will remind him that he will probably more important to his kids as a former homeschooler than he was as a hands-on everyday dad.

College update

So I got up again at 6am this morning, and drove 2 hours to my son's new (State) college to make sure his money was processed.  Honestly, this issue could have been handled by phone, but they are seriously short staffed, so I drove all the way there, wrote my name on a piece of paper, after a bunch of other people, waited an hour and 45 minutes, and then we got to speak to the financial aid counselor.

I am going to stop here and say something that might sound elitist.  There should be a separate office for people getting loans than the one for people getting state grants.  Firstly, the knowledge base is different, so there should be different specialists.  Second, the demeanor of the clients is different.  Most of the people getting free money were showing out, when the people getting loans sat calmly and waited their turn.  Yes, I know who was who, because everyone was being counseled out in the open where you could hear their business... but I digress.

Like I said, we should have been able to have this conversation by phone, but coming in - in person allowed me to literally draw pictures and circle issues in orange marker which seemed to help the counselor working with us. It also forced them to deal with our issue instead of brushing us off, which had been happening to date so far.

I'm still not 100% sure that everything is handled, but I have to trust that the college administration isn't entirely clueless.

Daughter's situation is completely different.  It seems that everything has practically been done for us, way in advance, and she is ready to move in.  Most of her items are sitting in my foyer right now, waiting for Saturday morning to come.

Meanwhile the boy hasn't packed a thing. Sigh.

Either way, at this point, I am expecting to caravan 2 SUV's two hours south this Saturday morning and complete the chore of sending my two homeschooled kids off to college.  For one, this is her first time spending more than a week away from home. For the other, this is his second year, though at a new college.  Somehow I am more worried about the older child, but I know his little sister will look after him.

I think I'm ready for him to find a wife.