You don't have to homeschool, but you do have to take charge of your child's education

As a homeschooler you might think I would say that that the brightest family of kids I know were homeschooled.  I'd love to say that, but it is not true.  Now I know some really bright kids, and I know some families full of bright kids that were homeschooled, but the family with the brightest kids on my radar went to public school.

But here's the thing... The parents were completely in charge of their children's education.  The knew what the kids were studying at all times. They sat down with their kids every night and knew what their kids knew and what their kids did not know. And when the kids were done with the school issued work, they assigned them more.  The kids did public school by day, and they "homeschooled" by night.

I was privileged to hear one of the children speak in a church graduation celebration. He was already in college and addressed those who were graduating that year. As he told it, he and his siblings least favorite day was the last day of the school year.  Sure, they were glad they didn't have to drag into school each morning, and that they looked forward to the customary ritual of ice cream on the way home on that last day, but what they did not like is that the ice cream shop immediately preceded  the

Don't let them steal your heroes

I am still very raw from the news of the death of Maya Angelou. I feel and deep and profound loss because for me, she was the one, the elder, at shows feet I proverbially sat. I never got to meet her, but once, many years ago, my husband bumped into her in an airport. I was home, pregnant with our first child. He saw her and he knew about my deep love her for and he stopped, gathered his courage and approached her. She was so regal, stood so tall, as he told it, and was very glamorous in her fur coat. He said, "excuse me, I just have to tell you that my wife loves you". She replied, "I love her too". Oh my word! These are the things heroes are made of. He brought her love home to me.

 In processing my sadness for the loss of a woman I find to be so iconic, I began to read her work, her quotes, and wanted to see her image. Hello... Facebook, twitter, and youtube. But youtube can be a nasty place, can't it. I stumbled across a video called The truth about Maya Angelou. In this video, a man, Stefan Molyneux, reported very many truths about Maya Angelou. And they weren't all good. In fact, many were bad. I watched the near 35 minute video with the thought in my mind, "and your point is?" In the end, his point was "don't listen to anything she said... she only preached forgiveness, to get forgiveness for herself, to unburden herself". Don't listen to her because after all her mother didn't do for her, she still loved her mother, so she must have been crazy. All of the talk of overcoming adversity is crap because her life was flawed. She said she did not break the cycle of abuse, because she did not solely raise her own child. He found her immoral, and so therefore useless as a hero. Here is the link to his video.

Mr. Molynuex has created quite a collection of "The Truth" videos.  Right before Maya's video, he

On Modesty and Shaming

I am annoyed by reports of a Utah School doctoring yearbook photos to show less skin.

My reasons:

1. The school district admittedly applied the rule unevenly.
2. The original pictures were fine, for the most part.
3. I dare say not one boy's photo was doctored.
4. Cleavage is one thing, but shoulders?  That is taking it too far.

I realize my stance my be unpopular, but it often is, and I am ok with that. But I feel like we cross the line in asking our girls to be modest... and push the barriers into shaming girls for just being girls.  While I practiced modesty with my daughter from her pre-teen years through now, adulthood (18th birthday coming up), I don't believe in telling girls that some guy seeing a glimpse of an ankle or a (gasp) arm, is going to cause some guy to stumble in his faith. Meanwhile guys get to run around completely shirtless, and girls are expected to have no reaction?  I am sick of the double standard. 

In encouraging (not demanding) my daughter to be modest, we layered whenever an outfit revealed too much.  "Go add your lacy underskirt to outfit". "That skirt or shorts would be OK with leggings". "That top needs a cami".  "For goodness sakes, where is your belt?".  These were common sentences

A tribute to Maya Angelou

When she spoke I listened
As if she were speaking directly to me.
She chose her words carefully
And set and example for all to see.
She told us why the caged bird sings
She lost her voice through childhood trauma
But found it again through poetry
Then she rose above poverty with dance and drama
She was as comfortable with a pen as she was on the stage
Acting with James Earl Jones, Gossett, and Cicely Tyson
Wrote for and worked with Malcolm X and King
She lived and loved in Paris, Cairo, and Ghana

And she was just getting started

At the height of her career she produced movies
She wrote scores and songs for Roberta Flack
She won Tony Awards
She won honorary degrees, and then she gave back.
By the time I came on the scene at the age of 13
she had accomplished all of these things
And I as a child looked at her life and her works
And breathed a sigh of relief as her words gave me wings
I saw so many similarities in my past and hers
Downtrodden, beaten, marginalized
I began to see the world through a new set of eyes
Her books gave me solace,
Her words gave me strength
I could see a future for myself beyond arms length.
And she continued to write,
And she continued to speak
She continued to sing
She continued to preach.

And I continued to learn.

She said, "If you only have one smile in you,
Give to the people you love"

"Nothing will work unless you do"

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within"

"The truth is, no one of us can be free until everybody is free"

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.  Don't complain"

"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept love in return.

She was a woman phenomenally..  and she will be missed.