Regret

(little girl making big decisions)

(I am stealing this from my Facebook page).  After writing it, it seemed really relative to my blog.  

Conversations that changed my outlook on life... Part 1.
When I was working a second job at a department store preparing to get married, I worked across the aisle from a woman on the other side of marriage. She had been married many, many years, and before her hubby could retire, he had become sick and she was his care-taker. She also had to work for the first time after having been a stay at home mom. Her kids used to come into the store to say hi. Her son was a doctor, and her Daughter was a business woman, and she... She was bitter with regret that she had wasted her time raising her kids and taking care of her husband because look at where it landed her.   

I think she told me these things because she knew I aspired to stay home and take care of my kids and husband and wanted me to escape her fate. She did not scare me from my course though. I saw kids I would be glad to call my own someday, and strength in her ability to adapt.  

But she did scare me away from the sin of regret. I determined that day that whatever came of my life and my family that I would be strong and happy and regret-less.
Sure I regret being unkind on occasion in a couple of circumstances, but I do not and will not regret sacrificing for my family. In the meanwhile, I have also found that gladly sacrificing for my family does not mean ignoring my own needs.

I think what I am trying to say to myself, and my friends is that we all make different decisions in our lives, and then we have to live with those decisions.  We need to do them happily and without regret and bitterness for ourselves and those close to us, and that there is nothing wrong with sacrificing for ourselves and our loved ones.

Personally, for me, doing such has led to greater happiness and fulfillment and has set me up for what seems like a bright future.  Of course I am determined to make it so.

That's not a bomb. That's my belly!

The Atlanta airport TSA now screens with one of those full X-ray machines. Sometimes, I get flagged to be expedited though security, where at most, they check my palms for residue, and sometimes I get the full she-bang.

When I do have to go through the X-ray machine, I have to say it is kind of humiliating. First, you go in, barefoot and put your feet on the germy looking painted feet on the floor, then you lift your hands above your head... and you know... just know, someone is checking out your body and all of its secrets.  Some people do this step and then keep moving, shaking off the feeling of personal violation.  But me... no, not me.

I have to then stand on the next germy foot pad and get felt up.  Apparently the girth I hold around my middle region looks like strapped-on explosives.  The last couple of times, someone rubbed the back of their hands over my stomach, to which I replied... "It's just fat."  They usually giggle and agree.  This time, the young lady kneeded my belly as if she was making pizza dough. It made me feel nauseous.  I replied, (cuz after you are violated, you have to say something, right?).. I replied, see, It's just fat.  She rolled her eyes, and I walked away. Personally I still feel like I deserve a steak dinner.

I'm sorry, I realize they are trying to protect the passengers and myself, but this makes no sense. If my face is chubby. and my legs are as thick and shapely as they are, and my butt is... well, my butt, then chances are, that the girth I am packing on my middle is a flesh belt, and nothing more.

They should really spend more time looking for actual terrorists.

But at least, they stopped combing through my hair, because an afro or a braided bun is surely hiding something right?

Update:  They felt up my stomach, back, and hair on the way back... I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to check your hair anymore.

ATL to New York Commuter flight and my teeny tiny luggage

I found an airline that flies to and from NY from Atlanta every morning.  Just one flight a day. The price is astronomically low. I took it and survived!  I'm going to do it again.

To backtrack a little, I tried taking the bus to NYC to save money, and I was traumatized a little. Over the summer, I paid about $70 round trip to take the China Bus as it is usually called, and it was crowded, smelly, and people were really disgusting and threw food on the floor.  And there were roaches!  Next, my husband and I took the Megabus for about $100 round trip and while it was cleaner, and better, the lack of leg space was physically painful and I had to wear compression socks to stop leg swelling.

The next time I traveled to NY it was me and my adult kids and for $600 we flew round trip.  That's $200 each.  After that trip I prepared myself to only fly and be prepared to pay $200 per trip to NY.  Imagine my surprise when I came across a discount advertisement for $100 round trip in my email.  I jumped on it and have flown back to NY and it wasn't terrible.  But, of course there were some issues.  First, the cost is for flight only.  If you are carrying a bag, you have to pay $25-$75.  AND you have to pay to choose your seat... any seat at all. You have to pay for beverages and snacks. And leg room is non existent.

As I arrived at the airline, and looked at the same clientele I had left on the China Town bus (and for that price, what could I expect). I decided to pay $35 for first class.  (previously, I declined to choose a seat and let them choose it for me for no fee.) Uh.  no, it wasn't first class.  It was the first few rows that had some extra leg space.  There was also the emergency exit row which also had the extra leg room... and you also had to pay $35 for that.  Imagine my disappointment.  There were still middle seats in first class.  Fortunately, no one wanted to pay for first class, and so the middle seats were not taken.  Then there's the fact that it is costly to get to and from the airport, so I still need to build in $100 per trip for ground transportation.  Going back, I may very well be checking a bag, so I will forgo the first class and just try to go to sleep so I don't have to be feel the pain in my legs until I stand up.


But it's OK.  It is still better than either bus company or both combined.  And since I actually have an apartment and clothing in NYC, I don't regularly need luggage.  I will probably get a backpack though because a purse or computer bag is allowed, and a backpack fits both categories, but for this trip, this was my carryon luggage, which qualified for free! Oh, and the image of the little item above... that is the cellphone and ID holder I use to avoid digging into my purse and dumping everything out. So essentially, a wallet on a strap became my purse, and my purse became my luggage.

Now this is not a guaranteed all the time price for Frontier Airlines between my two favorite destinations. This is a discounted fare and if you sign up on the website or other discounting sites you will find it.  Plus, for the most part, you need to fly Tuesday and Wednesday for the best price.  For that reason, I already booked my October and November flights. And these two round trip flights costs only $88.00 each.  If this keeps up, I will never take a bus again.

I will however, bring some candy and a little snack. and I will get a backpack so I can carry a few things back and forth.

Oh, by the way, A lot of frontier routes are cheaper than my ATL to NY route (when on sale).

Re: Home-schooled and illiterate

I read an article yesterday called Home-schooled and illiterate at Salon.com. The writer begins by describing a family she knew when she was younger that homeschooled poorly. They were conservative Christian and it seemed, from her looking in that the family did not value education for the girls most especially. The article goes on to state that other homeschooling moms usually from the quiverfull movement, bless their hearts, try, but get overwhelmed by  just having and caring for the kids they have, never mind actually educating them, and so they get lost in the fray.  It infers that even the most the most well meaning homeschool moms, fool themselves that they can handle homeschooling but they can't.

Of course the article throws in that there are some very diligent homeschooling parents who can and will  do a stellar job. But they add that in order to make sure that kids get the best education while homeschooling, there should be severe oversight.

 That's how I read it anyway. Let me know if you glean something different from it.

If I didn't find the article frustrating enough, the comments section sent me into a seizure. I'm twitching as I write this.  The comments ran the full gamut from "homeschoolers abuse their kids", to "if we are going to have oversight, we might as well embrace communism".  Yes, we like to overreact, don't we?

My problem is who are these people the article talks about, and why don't people ever look at the average homeschoolers? The ones who are kicking butt and taking names?!

I have about 10 years of blogging here. Look back. You will see that I am for the most part normal and very diligent about the education of my kids. Over the years, my personality and strong held convictions have softened, and happens with age, but you will see that we homeschooled because the schools left us no other option, and yes, I feel like my kids are better off for it.

And... there are millions of families like mine who started off in public or another form of school and then ran away screaming and waving their hands because their kids were being mistreated and/or swept under the rug. We homeschool diligently, with the goal being college, or post homeschool training of some sort. Our first goal is to make sure our children are educated well, and they are happy, and they are well adjusted.

And if you were to ask my kids, their list of things they would change is short... and that list is written in retrospect, a couple years after homeschooling. They have also given me a list of things they would do again if they had that choice... actually, see my last post.  I don't just pull these blog posts out of my butt.

I guess my final response to the article, is back off.  Don't look at the most fringe groups (I'm sure they will hate being called that) and make blanket decisions about all homeschoolers.  Don't look at the abusers and blame it on homeschoolers, blame it on abusers.  Finally, I really don't know about oversight.  The oversight we used to have here in GA was annoying and basic. Take an attendance sheet and send it in. Take a standardized test every few years and hold on to it just in case.  It was silly.  But more strict oversight will surely be enforced unevenly and haphazardly, so how would that work.  My biggest worry about oversight is that who is to say what is best for the child. The person who knows the kid or the person who drops in twice a year?  And what would that do to the uneven education that often happens in homeschooling that is actually brilliantly successful.  (What I mean by uneven education is that even if a kid is struggling in math and is a year behind, that should not stop them from being 4 grades ahead in language)... Traditional schools don't lend to well to this,  but it works well.  The kid will eventually catch up in math, but be literal geniuses in other areas.  I'd hate to see that controlled.

That's all I have for now, I would love to open this up to comments.  Please read the article and let me know what you think.