On Being Black and Homeschooling Part 4

Everything about being black and homeschooling was hard.

From my early assessment on Being Black and Homeschooling, to my thoughts on looking back Here and Here, I can see now that I have been on a journey, that took a heads down and power though approach.

Don't get me wrong.  I liked homeschooling.  I really did. I don't regret it at all, and I know it was the best thing for my kids, but the journey felt lonely... it really did.  In the beginning, the only person I felt that really supported me family-wise was my husband... after all, it was originally his idea.  As for family and friends... I was told to spank my kids, and send them back to school. Others just called me crazy. And some said I was "a mess" for homeschooling... whatever that is supposed to mean.

Very fortunately, I had some support of a couple of fellow church members who homeschooled, and they gave me guidance for a while, but that did not last long.  First, I did not feel that I fit into the homeschool groups they brought me to, especially in the early days, and secondly, our

On Being Black and Homeschooling Part 3

Before you read this, I would like you to go back and read parts 1 and 2 of this series.  Part I, On Being Black and Homeschooling written in 2005, and Part 2 Being written directly before this piece.

Now continues part 3:


Over time, the conversations surrounding the 2008 election faded, and I came back to center, leaving behind the edge I felt for being singled out as a misfit black Democrat trying to homeschool my kids among people who were neither of these things.  I never fully felt completely in sync with my previous group of homeschoolers again, but felt comfortable enough to be me, and allow my kids to

On Being Black and Homeschooling Part 2

After 8 years and 3 months, I think it is finally time to revisit one of my most popular blog posts On Being Black and Homeschooling.  Looking back, I can see that I was a bit naive in some of my points such as I did not see the point or need to join a black homeschooling group, and at the same time I may have been too sensitive to whether or not my children and I were welcome in a homeschool community where WE WERE THE DIVERSITY.

But a funny thing happens when you turn 40... as I did 5 years ago... or at least in my case... you stop caring what people think of you.  You stop asking permission to move forward or to be included. You just do you... and so I did. This made the last 5 years of my homeschooling journey a little easier, as I just focussed on what was best for my kids, and did not let race or attitudes affect any of it.

It wasn't easy though.

As much as I wanted to just be a homeschooler first, and leave all ethnicity out of it, I was hit with a

So how are they doing?

Or rather, how successful was your homeschooling based on their college performance?

A parents worth as homeschooling parents one could reason, could be determined by a student's success in further education... i.e. college.

It almost feels like confession when I reply that the boy is hanging in there.  Now that I can add that the girl is kicking butt and taking names, the whole homeschooling experience seems more validated.

But that's pretty unfair, isn't it.

Fortunately for me, I have two kids.  If I only had the son, I might very well be self conscious  about not producing a super student as a result of my homeschooling...  God forbid a homeschooler be an average college student.  If I only had the girl, perhaps, I would be accepted as an homeschooling authority because my under-aged homeschooling daughter was doing an excellent job?

Now that I have taken time to balance all my thoughts on the two kids and their experiences, it is clear to me that the results are a product more of the kids personalities, their natural strengths and weaknesses, and  their learning styles.

I gather now that son is almost done with general-eds and can get to the meat of his program, that we will see him gain traction....  I also suspect that as long as the girl continues to focus, that she will continue to do very well.

As for my job as a homeschooler, I have to relax in the knowledge that I gave my son a stress free experience as school was becoming a nightmare for him.  The fact that he is even in college at all is a huge success... it is now up to him to continue to carve out a success he defines for himself.  As for the girl, I really can't take credit for the free spirit she was born with. Who  would have known that her ability to not take herself too seriously... or anything else as a matter of fact, would parlay in an ability to navigate higher education with such ease?

So I'm going to stop judging our homeschooling based on semester by semester progress in college.  I am going to judge it once and for all as done and complete as I have a son who is well mannered with a strong moral compass, and a girl who is bold, fearless, and caring.

What more can a mother ask for?